The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.

He said, β€œFine. Suit yourself.”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw my nephew browsing some weird porn

What's the world coming to?

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad said if he see me browsing reddit again, he'll smash my head to the keyboard

I guess hezsjkfowgajqjhsjwkwlsvvcaxxacfasuoc

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...

Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".

Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".

Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".

Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".

Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".

Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".

Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".

Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was browsing through r/3amjokes and i couldn’t understand any of them..

Must be because it’s 5 pm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roke619
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is it called when you spend an hour in the bookstore browsing for German philosophers?

A Schopenhauer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HudsonSlaby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Browsing reddit on mobile? Place your device on your body.

r/dadjokes on you!

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been staying home all day browsing through Quora

I guess I was Quorantined.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danklandgangsta
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
After browsing recipes on Reddit, I come away believing there’s only one way to prepare my chicken.

You should breddit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmarsee530
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a guy come up to me at the store the other day as I was browsing the candy section and proclaimed "I refuse to eat Werther's originals!" Confused, I asked "Why's that?"

"I have my Riesens!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeexterminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Dave and Joe are browsing a Jerusalem dating site.

Dave sees the girl of his dreams and asks Joe, β€œI can’t believe my eyes, is this girl real?”

Joe pats his buddy Dave on the back, β€œYea bud, she Isreal.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abram_SF
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was browsing Reddit in the living room

when he began to sob into his keyboard. I went over to ask him what was wrong and he told me that despite lurking for years he still couldn't build up enough confidence to ask DIY how to build a fence.

Disappointed I could only say, "Well son, you can't start to build a fence if you can't even create a post."

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minobus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I just discovered this subreddit, and I can't stop browsing it

It's a parent this is the place for me :)

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henrique_cz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a person coughing while they were browsing reddit today.

Edit: Thanks for the cold, kind stranger!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBellsprout101
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw this when browsing on my CAWmputer.
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t3hOutlaw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw this while browsing Instagram. Felt it should be here
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucatchu947
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Found this while browsing.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkshadow543
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.

She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Found this whole browsing, thought I'd share
πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kluferfmernder
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I was naturally excited to have stumbled upon this sub, the goldmine of dadjokes. Couldn’t wait to use one of it...so one day while I was browsing, my son asked what was I reading? I took a deep breath of absolute euphoria and satisfaction, grinned widely and said, β€œThey r/dadjokes.”

The son said, β€œWhat’s slash dad jokes?” Kids, right!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Browsing through Facebook, a good friend's dad's most recent post...
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emberskye
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
🚨︎ report
Saw the wife browsing shoes online...

"I thought you had enough issues already."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamer_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What is Cookie Monster's favorite part of web browsing?

The cookies

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sakar1441
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked while browsing netflix

So I was browsing netflix with the family earlier, and my 11 year old brother asked "what's Gladiator?" and my dad said "it's about a cannibal who eats women. After he eats them he's gladiator". It took me a second to get the joke.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dubya09
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
🚨︎ report
My wife got me while I was browsing car parts.

Me: I really like these deep dish rims.

Wife: Really? I prefer hand-tossed.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FluxKappa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Browsing in toys r' us when...
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGeodude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Got my friends while browsing movies

Me and two friends are browsing the comedy section for a movie to watch.

Friend 1: "What's that movie, the one with the cow?"

Friend 2 clicks on it

Friend 2: "It's apparently a documentary"

Friend 1: "Why is there a documentary about cows here?"

Me: "It's a cowmedy"

Friend 1 & 2 groans

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicke94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I was browsing the internet looking at prices for a new PC...

...I was asked if I intended to buy. I said no, I was just Windowsβ„’ shopping.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caffiend2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
🚨︎ report
We were out browsing for sleep number beds, and dad let this loose on the salesman.

"What do you call twins conceived on a waterbed? "Off springs!"

Oh, dad. Your sense of humor can't hold water...

Shit, now he's got me doing it. Send help!

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Saw this gem while browsing earlier (X-post from r/breakingbad)
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustinHall17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
🚨︎ report
Browsing reddit

I was browsing reddit on my phone, and my dad comes up and asks what I'm doing.

Me: "I'm reading" Dad: "Well, what app is that? It looks familiar" Me: Oh, it's reddit." Dad: "reddit? I thought you were still reading it!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wulffu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Friend has a "spoiler filter" on while browsing forums for a show.

I replied, "I guess you can't go on r/shitty_car_mods."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veloxio
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Browsing Netflix with my girlfriend.

My girlfriend and I were looking for something to watch on Netflix.

Me: I hear good things about The King's Speech, have you seen it?

Her: Yeah, I actually really enjoyed it. Queen Elizabeth is in it.

Me: Oh really? Who does she play?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrizzle08
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
🚨︎ report
While browsing a restaurant menu...

I ask the waiter, "I see you have a Cajun Chicken Pasta, but I'm trying to be more conscious of where my food comes from. Do you have a cage free chicken pasta?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLync
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
🚨︎ report
In case you really need that rimshot sound when browsing this subreddit instantrimshot.com/
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/userino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2013
🚨︎ report
Browsing through Facebook when I find this gem. imgur.com/dud3doV
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nedaj-26
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
🚨︎ report

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