TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
In a world where people with superpowers make up 1% of the world population, people with two make up 1% of that 1%. These people born with two superhuman abilities are called squares.
Squares are raised to a second power.
My mom has 3 kids. My brother was born a gas, my sister a liquid and I am a solid. Yesterday my mom looked upset so I asked her what was wrong. She said "I'm pregnant"
So I said "Okay, what's the matter?"
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
If Tony Stark was born in ancient Italy
He would've called himself the Iron Roman.
When I was born...
....the doctor slapped my mother.
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s...
My neighbor is a farmer and asked for name suggestions for her new born calf that start with the letter J.
Mary was born without a uterus
It was immaculate contraception
My son was just born and another dad at the hospital congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday.
He said, "Maybe they'll marry each other?"
"Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age."
When my son was born, I was struggling to come up with a name, so I asked a nurse for a cuppa tea...
When she got back, I asked how warm it is. She replied back with "Luke warm". And that is how earl gray got his name. (Not sure if this one is a dad joke)
Did you know that Atticus Finch was born with a different name?
I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..
..or does it just take time to develop ?
A great sandwich isn't born
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
your mom secretly told me that you were born on a highway
....that's where most accidents happen
Dad initiation joke... When my wife and son were discharged by the hospital after he was born, they said we have to get a pediatric appointment within the next few days. They said they usually fit new borns in.
I said, they absolutely have space- he’s only 20 inches and 6 lbs. [holding my hands up showing how small he is].
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
Bruce Springsteen: Baby we are born to run.
Bruce Springsadult: let’s just take a cab.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
Why was Jesus born in a stable?
There was no womb in the inn.
In what month was Shrek born?
Oct-ogre
(Credit to my 4-y old!)
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
Did you know that all bees are born near the ocean?
Since my daughter was born I haven't slept for 11 months.
Because that would be entirely too long.
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
What is it called when you die and are born again as a hillbilly?
How do you know Jesus wasn't born in America?
They needed 3 wise men and a virgin
A Chinese kid was born before the due date
Parents named him “Sudden Lee”
When I was born, I only weighed 33.8 ounces...
Doctor said I was a natural born liter
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why does Barbie look so young even though she was born in the fifties?
What was the first thing Sinatra said to his parents when he was born?
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So, I have an uncle, once removed.
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.
So, I have an uncle, once removed.
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So, I have an uncle once removed.
Are people born with photographic memories...
....Or do they take a while to develop?
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
