Because the corn was a stalker.
That was berry rude of him
She rolled her eyes and said "Booberry Wheats, obviously"
I said "No, it's..." and then in a super spooky ghost voice "... WeeeeEEEEeeeetabix"
She laughed so hard she choked on her food.
These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
The marionberry
All their effort bears little fruit.
“I’ll disappear before your berry eyes!”
_(..)/
Some little girl to my left - “Dad!! Where are you?”
Dad- “Over here by this blueberry bush!”
Because they are antioxidant.
And those my friends are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
The raisin was previously known for grape
You better breath before you die!
...I told her that she would be looking for berried treasure!
... to let that mango.
http://i.imgur.com/bYNBvEK.jpg
Saw this on /r/funny figured you guys might like it
Why did the police arrest the turkey? > They suspected fowl play.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost? > A poultrygeist!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? > To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What key won’t open any door? > A turkey!
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? > Goblet.
Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from? > A poul-tree.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad? >They turn into blueberries.
What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today? > Plymouth.
Chris Pine - Pine scented
Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented
Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented
Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented
JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented
Miley Cypress - Cypress scented
Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented
Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented
Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented
Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented
Bread Pitt - Bread scented
Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented
Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented
Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented
Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented
Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented
Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented
Banana Montana - Banana scented
Orange Winfrey - Orange scented
Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented
Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented
Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup o’ joe scented
Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented
Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented
Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented
Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented
Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented
Halle Berry - Mixed scented
Demi Tomato - Tomato scented
Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented
Mandy S’more - S’mores scented
Mackerel-more - Fish scented
Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented
WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented
Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented
John Lemon - Lemon scented
Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented
Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented
Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented
Adille - Dill scented
Kevin Spicy - Taco scented
Channing Potatum - Potato scented
Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented
Danny Burrito - Burrito scented
Michaelanjello - Red jello scented
Harry Panini - Panini scented
Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented
Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented
Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented
Mike Fryson - French fry scented
Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented
Raisin Williams - Raisin scented
Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented
Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented
Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented
Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented
Malt Whitman - Malt scented
(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the “I wonder what Chris Pine smells like?” joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. I’m particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)
"Why?"
"To hide in blueberry bushes!"
"(any response)"
"What, have you never seen an elephant in a blueberry bush?"
"(any response)"
"Works pretty well, doesn't it!"
The kids need shoes so we all get dragged to the store. The Christmas trees (already! for crying ou...) in the kids section has got "homemade" ornaments like these.
http://imgur.com/a/CTEuA
My oldest comes up to me and says "Hey daddy, it's a strawberry tree." and I'm like "Strawberry? come on, a blueberry tree at least." and then he goes "No, a STRAWberry, geddit, STRAWberry."
Yes, son. Wipes tear Yes I do geddit.
My dad: "We have a guy at work whose name is Barry Blue. Guess what we call him?"
Me: "I don't know. Blueberry?"
My dad: "..no.. We call him Barry. Why would we call him Blueberry? He might get mad".
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Out for dinner at a nice restaurant with wife and two teenage kids, we all order dessert, wife got blueberry creme brulee, I got baked alaska with rum flambe. Waitstaff knew it was my birthday so they put a candle on my baked alaska. Problem was, the rum flambe melted the candle. It was pretty funny, so wife took pics with her iPhone. As she was reviewing her pics, she dropped her phone in her creme brulee. I said, "I thought you ordered blueberry creme brulee, not Apple creme brulee..."
That was when I got the best birthday present: three hearty groans from the whole family.
We work in produce, and we were setting up the store before we opened in the wee hours of the morning.
One of my coworkers was complaining how the new containers our blueberries come in don't really fit into the table anymore (they're about 1/2 inch wider than the old ones and its a pain to stack them without leaving any gaps)
I said "yea I was experimenting with making that work yesterday but I couldn't get it to, I guess there are too many berryables"
They all groaned but I thought it was brilliant. Sorry in advance for typos/formatting. I'm on mobile
Me: You want a blueberry smoothie?
Dad: I think it'd be more of a blueberry lumpy.
Me: shakes head
Would you like strawberry shortcake or blueberry pie with ice cream?
(Either answer)
Yeah, that sounds good to me too. Too bad we don't have any!
*my Grandpa (rip) to my dad repeatedly, now my dad to me regularly
