3 Billboards about e-Billing
I just spoke with Bill Withers and told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is poor grammar.
He said "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
My son wanted to glue $20 bills to his belt
I told him that would just be a waist of money
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Is bill gate a bill-ionaire?
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
The genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.
I call it a wreath of Franklin.
My friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn’t afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
Why is Bill Clinton playing the Saxophone now trending on YouTube?
It’s because of the Al Gore Rhythm.
Paying bills is hard.
Some would call it taxing.
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, “Two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. “What did they look like?” He replied...
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
What do you call a belt made of $100 bills?
I had a priest perform an exorcism for my house, but I never paid the bill....
I still believe Bill Clinton's Vice President invented the internet
Why else would we use Al-Gore-Rhythms?
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
A big bear goes into a bar and slaps down a $20 bill and says to the bartender,"give me a gin and................tonic"
The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.
When I have expensive medical bills -
Does that mean I had a valuable experience?
My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
I just found out that Bill Nye is just a stage name.
His real name is William New Year’s Eve.
If I had twins I'd name the first one Bill
The second one is Doubill
Bill Clinton's VP could have won in 2000 if he had found the right flowchart
But he just wasn't using the right Al Gore-ithm
If Senate is a place where every bill needs to be pass through
It should be called Bill Gates.
My dad always introduces my mom as
His “first wife”
(They’ve been married 43 years)
So if you get knighted by Bill Gates
Does that make you an edge lord?
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.
He orders a drink, and asks for the check.
Duck billed platypus.
Edit: Thanks guys.
How did Bill Cosby describe the massive earthquake in the Grand Canyon?
“There was a schism in the chasm.”
As I was leaving the vet’s office, he said “Here is the bill..
Sorry, that we were unable to reattach it to your duck.”
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....
So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?
What do you call a wreath of $100 bills?
My friend in the country couldn’t afford his water bill...
So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?
What do you call a belt made out of $100 bills
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “Get well soon” card
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “Get well soon” card
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