It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......
I burned my batter based breakfast this morning...
When making authentic Belgium waffles, how much batter should you add to the waffle maker?
Waffle batter, cake batter, beer batter, fry batter....
What did the British umpire say to the batter?
This prawn couldn't decide whether he wanted to be coated in batter and eaten or not
He was being tempura mental
What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?
Good eye, mate. Good eye...
Did you hear about the lady who stopped a knife fight using cake batter?
She bravely took a whisk.
Anybody have good jokes about pancake batter?
I do, but they’re all Waffle.
Shout out to all the batters in baseball...
A pitcher kept aiming slightly to the side and hitting the batter
no one got their lemonade and the cake was ruined
I find myself craving vegetables dipped in batter and fried in a Japanese style.
I'm feeling tempura-mental.
I was trying to make pancake batter…
…but I couldn't find any whisks. I had just recently moved into a new house with my room mate and I wasn't sure what utensils we had between the two of us. I texted her and asked,
"Do we have any whisks here?
Or is that just whiskful thinking?"
I'm about to make a joke about cake
Which day of the week is for preparing battered food?
I almost missed my cake day!
That would have been real crumby.
Edit: thanks for the gifts! I’ve never felt so kneaded.
Baseball has to be the most nostalgic sport
Cause no matter if they are right or left handed batters, they always hit close to home.
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !
There's no excuse for battered shrimp
A recipe for a good relationship
My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.
I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.
So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.
The look on her face was priceless!
I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.
what did the baker say when he became an umpire?
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?
There was a fight in the fish and chip shop
How do you break down the gates to the Cookie Castle?
With a batter-ing ram to do it all at once, or you can chocolate chip away at it for a long time.
Why do robots like pancakes?
Because they are batter-y.
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?
Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
... he's feeling much batter now.
Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant last night?
Battered Fish Everywhere!
I heard there was a fight in the kitchen and...
The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.
There was no battering ram.
I was just attacked by a Canadian man with a bowl of pancake mix!
It was assault and batter, eh?
Happy Cake Day!!!
It's batter than nothing!
In the spirit of sharing our kids attempts at dad jokes,
My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:
Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.
I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.
Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am
Came home and saw a pile of old battered knives on the kitchen counter.......
Me: Dad what's with all the old knives?
Dad: I'm starting an old knife shop....
I never even got the real answer from him he wouldn't stop laughing
Why was the baker upset with himself?
I lost my baker's license
because I was recently charged with batter-y
Did you hear about the angry pancake?
While making pancakes for my sone today:
Son- Papa why was the pancake good at baseball?
Me- I don't know bud. Why?
So- it had a good Batter...
Did you hear that there was a big fight down at the fish and chips shop
The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted
Did you hear about the fight outside the chip shop the other day?
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?
Apparently someone got battered
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