My dog used to bark Bow-Wow! Older now, he goes AARP-AARP!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Why did the dog bark at the tree?

Because the tree barked first

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Witchywomun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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What did Obi Wan Kenobi say when he heard the cow bark?

"That's no moo".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdbsplashum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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Bark the car
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ra1ku_77
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My dog is quite small with a real gravel tone to his bark

He’s a little Husky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justlikeyourmoma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Why did the smaller dog have a better bark than the bigger dog?

Cause he was a sub woofer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RangaRedRascal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Bark
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarTank2014
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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So I my son started to bark at me

Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract. Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WisdomThingy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?

Because it's rough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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They say you can identify a tree by its bark, but this one has me stumped.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bladingbeckie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Dogs have different barks in different countries

The american dogs go bark bark, the Scandinavian dogs go bjeff bjeff and the british dogs go bruv bruv.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartaPieH
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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My dad trained his dog to sniff rocks and bark when it found a fossil.

It's a trained barkeologist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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How do you greet a rapper who barks?

What's up dowg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Tree barks. Lumberjack leaves.
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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What do you call a dog with a deep bark

A subwoofer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nothingsecure
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Got myself a new dog, with a low, loud and resonant bark.

Going to call him Sub-woofer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Rosa definitely barks!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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In the early days of Tesla, they had difficulties getting the CEO to show up on time to meetings, so they trained a puppy to find him and bark until he arrived...

...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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He bark
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicysaucer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Bark
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Snipet-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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*Bark bark*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfundledBundle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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My family was eating birthday cake, and one of the he toppings looked like striped bark, so my mom asked my dad, " Do you want a bark?"

And my dad replied, "Ruff!"

I liked it but everyone else groaned

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendOfKhaos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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I learned that cinnamon comes from the bark of a tree...

...but why do the stores sell so much ground cinnamon?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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*bark bark* wingardium leviosa *bark bark*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uglygod2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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If Mark wants his dog, Lark, to Bark he says Bark Lark! Then if Lark wants Mark to Bark he says?

BARK BARK!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcosaypolo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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What do you call a flower that barks?

A Collie-flower

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Why do I carry a piece of bark around in my pocket?

It's just part of my shtick

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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Why did the dog bark?

He was having a ruff day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jadekinsjackson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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His bark was much worse than his bite
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-Lawsome
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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Bark at the moon imgur.com/57OxEpc
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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Great Danes don’t bark

They bjork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/travislow5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Which tree has the best bark?

Dogwood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drondol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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when a dog barks loudly to keep intruders away from the house, it is creating a protection racket

think about that. your dog is the mafia now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/findanegg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2017
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I drove past a lumbar yard the other day. They were having a β€œBark Sale”

I thought to myself, β€œman... sales must be ruff.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joshuadbonner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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A dog walks up to a tree and says "bark"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lebidm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
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How do you make a cat bark?

Throw it in the fire. It will go WHOOF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faceoftheancients
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2016
🚨︎ report
He just keeps repeating it as long as the dog barks.

Whenever my dog barks, my dad will say something like, "how does sandpaper feel?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dis3ngage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
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Why do German rabbits bark and lay eggs?

They are canine hens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drkaczur
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2017
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What kind of dog doesn't bark?

A hush puppy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drkmoosegaming
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
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Finally...a tree who's bite is worse than it's bark

http://i.imgur.com/IN3Yz6C.png

My dad is a professional dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulrulez742
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2015
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Did you hear the puppy's first bark?

It was a little rough

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2013
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