Bandaid Puns

I don't know, but that sounds like a rip-off to me!

I swear this is a true organic dad joke I had tonight. Felt I’d share it with reddit.

My kid came up to me and says “oh no, look dad, it needs a bandaid” as she gently presents her imaginarily injured bouncy ball.

I looked at my kid and said “I don’t think it needs a bandaid, he looks like he’s going to bounce back”

I find it really hard to pull it off.

Gingerly.

They ribbit

they are a rip off.

“I think you mean Toe-laf”.

... Is a bloody ripoff.

My grandpa said: “You should go to the back. We have bandaids.”

But then they got a bandaid...

My brother turned 16 today, and for a party he invited 5 of his lady friends. One of them have him a set of Disney Princess bandaids. My wife and my brother are both big fans of the movie "Frozen"and my wife had something to say.

Brother: Look at these cool bandages! Wife: But they aren't Frozen bandages. Brother: Well I guess... Me: He can just put them in the freezer.

The entire party just rolled their eyes at me.

Does that mean that today is ice pack and bandaid day?

My father everyone!

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.

But it would've been too hard to pull off.