Bald Eagle Puns

He thought he was a bird of pray.

I have 4 Goodyear tires with almost no tread. Make offer.

Hairing.

Cause its il-eagle

Until the recent discovery that there's actually a lot more out there. They just comb over.

Because it's illeagle

He responded with " Was it bald or did it have a receding hairline?" Then laughed uncontrollably.

lecture about US political culture

Prof: You guys like magic

Class: Yeah!

Prof: Okay I need a volunteer

I raised my hand so he picked me

Prof: Okay pull out a dollar bill and point out the wings of the bald eagle

I do

Prof: Okay I want you to fold the bill 3 times long ways then hand it to me

i fold it then hand it to him

Prof: You can still see the wings right? okay I am now going to fold it sideways into 3rds then I want you to hold out 3 fingers with your palm up

he places the folded bill onto my fingers with the center third flat on my hand

Prof: now say wing 3 times

Me: Wing wing wing

prof picks up the bill and holds it up to his ear

Prof: Hello?? This is Professor Frank, who is this?

The whole class couldn't stop laughing for like 10 minutes xD

We were taking our 4 year old to get a haircut. While looking out his window he saw a hawk flying and my wife asked our son Wife: "Do you think he's going for a hair cut too?" Son: "birds don't need to get haircuts!" Me: "well bald eagles don't."

Eye rolling ensued.

"I saw a bald eagle on the way to work today."

Dad: "where does he work?!"

We were driving to dinner when on the highway we see a dead bird.

Her : Was that a dead bird? Me: I think it's a bald eagle.... You know, that's ill-eagle.

She smiled. I was hoping for the groan

Co-worker: I saw a bald eagle in my backyard this morning. It was large but so pretty.

Me: You should consider adding some rogaine to your bird feed.

Co-worker: Why would I add rogaine?

Me: Well you said it was a BALD eagle...

All coworkers: Groan Get Out...Just leave!

Hairring.