Did you hear about the bald eagle that became a preacher?

He thought he was a bird of pray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Bald Eagles for sale.

I have 4 Goodyear tires with almost no tread. Make offer.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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What’s a bald eagle’s least favorite food?

Hairing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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Why is it bad to hunt bald eagles?

Cause its il-eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychoticunicorn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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We thought that bald eagles were an endangered species for the longest time...

Until the recent discovery that there's actually a lot more out there. They just comb over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lsurox22
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2016
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Why can't a person hunt bald eagles in the US?

Because it's illeagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stwicksy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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So I told my I saw a Bald Eagle today...

He responded with " Was it bald or did it have a receding hairline?" Then laughed uncontrollably.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonPawsUpp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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Got rekt by my Political Science Professor

lecture about US political culture

Prof: You guys like magic

Class: Yeah!

Prof: Okay I need a volunteer

I raised my hand so he picked me

Prof: Okay pull out a dollar bill and point out the wings of the bald eagle

I do

Prof: Okay I want you to fold the bill 3 times long ways then hand it to me

i fold it then hand it to him

Prof: You can still see the wings right? okay I am now going to fold it sideways into 3rds then I want you to hold out 3 fingers with your palm up

he places the folded bill onto my fingers with the center third flat on my hand

Prof: now say wing 3 times

Me: Wing wing wing

prof picks up the bill and holds it up to his ear

Prof: Hello?? This is Professor Frank, who is this?

The whole class couldn't stop laughing for like 10 minutes xD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SN1P3RJOE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
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Birds don't need haircuts

We were taking our 4 year old to get a haircut. While looking out his window he saw a hawk flying and my wife asked our son Wife: "Do you think he's going for a hair cut too?" Son: "birds don't need to get haircuts!" Me: "well bald eagles don't."

Eye rolling ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buzzardgut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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My dad got me really good today.

"I saw a bald eagle on the way to work today."

Dad: "where does he work?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grumpyburger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2016
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Dad joked my girlfriend while driving

We were driving to dinner when on the highway we see a dead bird.

Her : Was that a dead bird? Me: I think it's a bald eagle.... You know, that's ill-eagle.

She smiled. I was hoping for the groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParanoidSarge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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This got me thrown out of the Cafateria at work

Co-worker: I saw a bald eagle in my backyard this morning. It was large but so pretty.

Me: You should consider adding some rogaine to your bird feed.

Co-worker: Why would I add rogaine?

Me: Well you said it was a BALD eagle...

All coworkers: Groan Get Out...Just leave!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vrek86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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What’s a bald eagle’s leash favorite fish food?

Hairring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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