What's the opposite of an assassin?
A dickdickout.
What do you say to a French assassin?
Please! Have merci!
what do we say about the assassin ?
he had some time to kill
What did the secret service yell when Disney sent assassins after our president?
Donald, duck!
I don't know how much money an assassin makes...
but I bet they make a killing!
What is the name of the assassin that only kills candles?
John Wick
What do you call an assassin that only kills anime lovers?
A weeb wacker
My fiancé thinks I have an unhealthy obsession with assassins creed
and if I wear my robes to the wedding she’ll leave me at the Altaïr
They refused to hire the boat assassin to be the face of the company
They had a feeling he'd be a sails killer
What did the assassin do when he was hungry?
The assassinate
Arthur the Assassin indicted for a cheap triple murder at local grocery store.
Headline: "Artie chokes three for a dollar at the A&P."
As an assassin, sometimes you have to take different jobs.
I made a killing in the market.
An assassin was recently hired to kill a cow in a rice field with two porcelain figures
Police say it's the first reported case of nick-nack paddy wack.
I'm going to create my own assassin agency
Our slogan: We aim to please.
What do you call an assassin that kills in summer?
The heat-man
The thing about being a good assassin....
It's all in the execution!
My girlfriend said my over-ambitious assassin jokes were getting in the way of our relationship
and I just said..."don't worry, I'll take them all out"
I'm an assassin, but I consider myself a storyteller.
I specialize in surprise endings.
I told my girlfriend that her skin was really smooth and asked her if she had made Assassin's Creed.
Confused shrug in response
"Because Ubisoft"
What do you call an assassin from the Baroque period?
A Bachstabber.
Did you hear about the chicken assassin guild?
Not much is known, it's all cluck and dagger.
