Punstoppable

Assassins Puns

A list of puns related to "Assassins"

What do you say to a French assassin?

Please! Have merci!

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👤︎ u/hungytoaster
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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what do we say about the assassin ?

he had some time to kill

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👤︎ u/SauceSlayer
📅︎ Oct 24 2020
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I was playing Assassins Creed when suddenly…
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👤︎ u/trimdaddy
📅︎ Sep 08 2020
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What did the secret service yell when Disney sent assassins after our president?

Donald, duck!

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👤︎ u/Anddditburns
📅︎ Oct 13 2020
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I don't know how much money an assassin makes...

but I bet they make a killing!

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👤︎ u/HeroUnit
📅︎ Oct 27 2020
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What is the name of the assassin that only kills candles?

John Wick

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👤︎ u/itsthatbrownguy91
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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What do you call an assassin that only kills anime lovers?

A weeb wacker

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👤︎ u/Theunkillable
📅︎ Oct 22 2020
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My fiancé thinks I have an unhealthy obsession with assassins creed

and if I wear my robes to the wedding she’ll leave me at the Altaïr

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👤︎ u/glowcoma
📅︎ May 13 2020
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They refused to hire the boat assassin to be the face of the company

They had a feeling he'd be a sails killer

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👤︎ u/Trevhaar
📅︎ Sep 05 2020
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What did the assassin do when he was hungry?

The assassinate

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👤︎ u/lZombieChaserl
📅︎ Sep 19 2019
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Arthur the Assassin indicted for a cheap triple murder at local grocery store.

Headline: "Artie chokes three for a dollar at the A&P."

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👤︎ u/Rocknocker
📅︎ Jan 13 2020
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As an assassin, sometimes you have to take different jobs.

I made a killing in the market.

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👤︎ u/some_lerker
📅︎ Sep 18 2019
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An assassin was recently hired to kill a cow in a rice field with two porcelain figures

Police say it's the first reported case of nick-nack paddy wack.

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👤︎ u/djSanta1
📅︎ Oct 07 2019
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I'm going to create my own assassin agency

Our slogan: We aim to please.

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👤︎ u/Sammy_Colon
📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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What do you call an assassin that kills in summer?

The heat-man

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👤︎ u/AcaNitro7
📅︎ Jun 07 2019
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The thing about being a good assassin....

It's all in the execution!

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👤︎ u/Sjdiver2001
📅︎ May 19 2019
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My girlfriend said my over-ambitious assassin jokes were getting in the way of our relationship

and I just said..."don't worry, I'll take them all out"

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👤︎ u/IAmDrinkingIcedTea
📅︎ Oct 08 2018
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I'm an assassin, but I consider myself a storyteller.

I specialize in surprise endings.

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👤︎ u/Minas-Harad
📅︎ Mar 12 2017
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I told my girlfriend that her skin was really smooth and asked her if she had made Assassin's Creed.

Confused shrug in response

"Because Ubisoft"

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👤︎ u/butts__
📅︎ Aug 14 2016
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What do you call an assassin from the Baroque period?

A Bachstabber.

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👤︎ u/Clbull
📅︎ Oct 27 2017
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How do you weigh an assassin?

In Killergrams.

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👤︎ u/Garstank
📅︎ Jun 02 2017
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Did you hear about the chicken assassin guild?

Not much is known, it's all cluck and dagger.

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👤︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
📅︎ Jul 27 2015
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