What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?

Tanks for that.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Dec 08 2020
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My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.

My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.

My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.

4yo: "I like your shirt mama!

Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?

4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"

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👤︎ u/Shade0217
📅︎ Oct 31 2020
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Do you know why the French eat just one egg for breakfast?

Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.

👍︎ 836
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👤︎ u/Tamizander
📅︎ Oct 22 2020
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Watch out! r/puns is in danger

r/punpatrol

r/punKGB

r/Pun_Internal_Affairs

r/punspecialforces

These are the names of our oppressors! There may be more, but they are our greatest threat. They are currently amassing an army to try to end puns as we know it.

If we are to save this beautiful form of our language, than we must unite! We must not divide ourselves by titles, but unite ourselves as punners!

They plan on eradicating all puns by going to the source, the pun user. Are we to let ourselves be undermined by those who think they are better than us? Are we to let ourselves and all future generations be banned from puns? If you say no, then join in the revolt

##VIVA LA R/PUNS

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📅︎ Feb 13 2019
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My dad was husking corn.

He was surprised at how large the kernels were. "These kernels are large. So large in fact, that they're major."

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📅︎ Jul 28 2014
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