My most enlightening appliance is my alarm clock.
Whenever it rings, I get woke!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
I usually prefer electric appliances
But after seeing my dirty underwear I think I prefer my gas dryer.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Led Zeppelin ran a laundry appliance business.
They were called the Dryer Makers.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 02 2020
I discovered there is a kitchen appliance that can grow marijuana really fast.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 01 2020
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 07 2020
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 29 2020
What household appliance is most likely to blackmail you?
Your vaccuum- it's been gathering dirt on you for years.
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 17 2019
The perfect 2 in 1 office appliance: the PhotoCoffeer
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 01 2019
My wife says I am bad at fixing appliances.
π︎ 167
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︎ Jul 19 2019
My wife was upset with me last night for kicking ice cubes under the appliances instead of picking them up...
...but this morning itβs just water under the fridge
π︎ 126
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︎ Mar 07 2019
I sell appliances - one day the grates for one of our cooktops went missing...
A couple months later I found them hidden somewhere, most likely by some hooligans who had nothing better to do.
Anyways, after I found them I walked up to all my coworkers holding up the grates and said:
"Guys! I have grate news!"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
π︎ 78
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︎ May 09 2019
Which Appliance has the most foul mouth?
The Washing machines it has Loads.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 14 2019
A burglar breaks into a house and steals all the kitchen appliances...
Upon being caught, he returned all of the items except for the mixing tool. When the police asked him to return it he said, "sorry, this is a whisk I must take".
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 16 2018
My wife thinks Iβm terrible at fixing appliances.
Well, sheβs in for a shock.
π︎ 94
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︎ May 09 2018
I inherited some terrible appliances from my parents after they downsized.
The only thing that doesnβt suck is the vacuum cleaner.
π︎ 11
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︎ Mar 22 2019
My kids just got a new puppy that is scared of every appliance in the house, and one in particular. I suggested they name him βNature.β
Because nature abhors a vacuum
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 23 2018
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
π︎ 22
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︎ May 11 2018
What is a surfers least favourite kitchen appliance?
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 23 2019
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 30 2018
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
π︎ 27
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︎ Jun 30 2018
I work in the appliance department at a large retailer and we were working on a truck delivery.
On one of our pallettes was a 12" sub that was meant for the car electronics department.
I look to my co-workers and say "Maybe we should refrigerate it.".
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 11 2019
5 ways to power an appliance
Caution: #3 will shock you
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 27 2018
What do you call a reptile that ruins household appliances?
A crack-a-dial.
EDIT: The real joke is how much time and effort was spent thinking this joke up
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 05 2017
My kids say Iβm hopeless at fixing appliances...
Well, they're in for a shock...
π︎ 17
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︎ Mar 08 2017
If Einstein had followed up on his patented design for a kitchen appliance refrigerator
He could have sold millions of them and become a fridge magnate.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 28 2014
What do you call a country that is also a cooking appliance?
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 25 2017
Waiting for the appliance repairman
My husband is a professional dadjoke, ask the kids. This morning we are stuck at home waiting for the dryer repairman to come "sometime between 9 and 5". Husband suggestion, lets go have sex, then either he will come or we will.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 05 2016
In which my dad helped me select an appliance
Me: "Dad, do you have Consumer Reports? I want to look at refrigerators."
Dad: points at fridge "There's one!"
I gave him a high five while my mom rolled her eyes.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 22 2015
My sister asked if Maytag Blue Cheese was part appliance
I told her it was a bit drier
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 02 2015
If I disrupted the appliance industry, I could be a refrigerator magnate
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 04 2016
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