I discovered there is a kitchen appliance that can grow marijuana really fast.

Instant Pot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.

It's dishwasher safe!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?

A hot plate

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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What household appliance is most likely to blackmail you?

Your vaccuum- it's been gathering dirt on you for years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mallorn_hugger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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The perfect 2 in 1 office appliance: the PhotoCoffeer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OllieChaos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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I sell appliances - one day the grates for one of our cooktops went missing...

A couple months later I found them hidden somewhere, most likely by some hooligans who had nothing better to do.

Anyways, after I found them I walked up to all my coworkers holding up the grates and said:

"Guys! I have grate news!"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My wife says I am bad at fixing appliances.

She is in for a shock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwilltakeyourkids
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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My wife was upset with me last night for kicking ice cubes under the appliances instead of picking them up...

...but this morning it’s just water under the fridge

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aswaim2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?

The deep friar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theblumkin
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Which Appliance has the most foul mouth?

The Washing machines it has Loads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteaminScaldren
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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A burglar breaks into a house and steals all the kitchen appliances...

Upon being caught, he returned all of the items except for the mixing tool. When the police asked him to return it he said, "sorry, this is a whisk I must take".

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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I inherited some terrible appliances from my parents after they downsized.

The only thing that doesn’t suck is the vacuum cleaner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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My wife thinks I’m terrible at fixing appliances.

Well, she’s in for a shock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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What is a surfers least favourite kitchen appliance?

A Microwave

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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My kids just got a new puppy that is scared of every appliance in the house, and one in particular. I suggested they name him β€œNature.”

Because nature abhors a vacuum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nsertnamehere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?

The freezer, he's really cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_chazz
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.

The freedom of press is no more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I work in the appliance department at a large retailer and we were working on a truck delivery.

On one of our pallettes was a 12" sub that was meant for the car electronics department.

I look to my co-workers and say "Maybe we should refrigerate it.".

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked

now it's just water under the fridge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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5 ways to power an appliance

Caution: #3 will shock you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CliffordTheDragon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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What do you call a reptile that ruins household appliances?

A crack-a-dial.

EDIT: The real joke is how much time and effort was spent thinking this joke up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tasty_Anthrax
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My kids say I’m hopeless at fixing appliances...

Well, they're in for a shock...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2017
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If Einstein had followed up on his patented design for a kitchen appliance refrigerator

He could have sold millions of them and become a fridge magnate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stcamellia
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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What do you call a country that is also a cooking appliance?

Aus-strainer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcat74
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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If I disrupted the appliance industry, I could be a refrigerator magnate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taxidata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2016
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Waiting for the appliance repairman

My husband is a professional dadjoke, ask the kids. This morning we are stuck at home waiting for the dryer repairman to come "sometime between 9 and 5". Husband suggestion, lets go have sex, then either he will come or we will.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/longleglady
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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In which my dad helped me select an appliance

Me: "Dad, do you have Consumer Reports? I want to look at refrigerators."

Dad: points at fridge "There's one!"

I gave him a high five while my mom rolled her eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kziv
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
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My sister asked if Maytag Blue Cheese was part appliance

I told her it was a bit drier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rykahn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
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