I grew up in Perry, Florida for the first eleven years of my life, and I can tell you that the Fenholloway River was contaminated when I lived there, however it has gotten way worse, to the point where it killed the Oyster industry in Wakulla county, and not only that the fish who haven’t died off have been extremely mutated, and worst of all, people are getting sick and dying because the drinking water is contaminated.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
!Xóõ !Xun (Ekoka) //Ani /Xam A-Pucikwar A-Pucikwar Aari Aariya Aasáx Abau Abaza Abenaki (Western) Abidji Abipón Abipón Abkhaz Abui Abun Acaxee Acehnese Achagua Achang Aché Achí Acholi Achuar Achumawi Acoma Acroá Adai Adamorobe Sign Language Adang Adioukrou Adithinngithigh Adjuvilo Adyghe (Abzakh) Adyghe (Shapsugh) Adyghe (Temirgoy) Adynyamathanha Adzera Aekyom Aequian Afrihili Afrikaans Agarabi Agavotaguerra Aghem Aghu Aghu Tharnggala Aghul Agta (Central) Agta (Dupaningan) Aguacatec Aguaruna Ahom Ahtna Aikaná Ainu Aizi Aja Ajagbe Ajawa Ajië Aka Aka-Bea Aka-Biada Aka-Bo Aka-Cari Aka-Cari Aka-Jeru Aka-Kede Aka-Kede Aka-Kol Aka-Kora Akan Akar-Bale Akawaio Akha Akhvakh Akkadian Akkala Sami Aklanon Akwa Ala'ala Alabama Alagwa Alamblak Alanic Alas Alawa Albanian Aleut Aleut (Eastern) Algonquin Alladian Allentiac Alngith Alsatian Alsea Alsea Altai (Southern) Alune Alutiiq Alutor Alyawarra Ama Amahuaca Amanab Amanayé Amara Amarakaeri Ambae (Lolovoli Northeast) Ambai Ambulas Amdo Amdo (Themchen) Amele American Sign Language Amharic Amis Ammonite Amo Ampeeli Amuesha Amuzgo Anamuxra Ancient Cappadocian Ancient Macedonian Andi Andoa Andoke Andoquero Anejom Anêm Angaataha Angami Angas Anggor Angolar Anguthimri Anindilyakwa Anong Antrim dialect, Irish Anufo Anyi Anywa Ao Apache (Chiricahua) Apache (Jicarilla) Apache (Western) Apalachee Apalaí Apatani Apiaká Apinayé Apurinã Arabana Arabela Arabic (Bahrain) Arabic (Bani-Hassan) Arabic (Beirut) Arabic (Borno Nigerian) Arabic (Chadian) Arabic (Eastern Libyan) Arabic (Egyptian) Arabic (Gulf) Arabic (Hijazi) Arabic (Iraqi) Arabic (Kormakiti) Arabic (Kuwaiti) Arabic (Lebanese) Arabic (Modern Standard) Arabic (Moroccan) Arabic (Negev) Arabic (North Levantine Spoken) Arabic (Palestinian) Arabic (San'ani) Arabic (Syrian) Arabic (Tunisian) Arakanese (Marma) Araki Aralle-Tabulahan Arandai Araona Arapaho Arapesh (Abu) Arapesh (Mountain) Aravirá Arawak Arbore Arcaicam Esperantom Archi Are'are Areba Aribwatsa Aribwatsa Aribwatsa Arikara Arikem Arin Armenian (Eastern) Armenian (Iranian) Armenian (Western) Arop-Lokep Arosi Arrernte Arrernte (Mparntwe) Arrernte (Western) Arritinngithigh Aruá Asmat Assamese Assan Asturian Asuriní Atacameño Atakapa Atakapa Atampaya Atayal Atchin Athpare Atikamekw Atlantean Atsugewi Atsugewi Attempto Controlled English Au Aulua Auregnais Auslan Auyana Avar Avatime Avestan Avikam Avokaya Awa Awa Pit Awabakal Awadhi Awngi Awtuw Awyi Ayabadhu Ayiwo Aymara (Central) Aynu Ayomán Ayoreo Azari (Iranian) Azerbaijan
... keep reading on reddit ➡Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
