To sum it up, there’s a small medium at large.
I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs.
the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Thank you and have a nice day.
A guy walks into a crowded bar, waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a .9mm Smith and Western with an eight shot magazine and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."
A deep voice from the back of the room called out, "You don't have enough ammo!"
They proposed some sweeping changes.
It's very important to make sure that one always has a trash can at one's disposal.
Wife: First: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant,I’m dad.
Wife: second: no you’re not.
My house is full of light switches!
He HEARD an AMBER alert!!
They want to decrease the gender pray gap
He said, "It's either a boy or a girl"
http://38.media.tumblr.com/055169703b8f2b5a2b1ffaec989317b9/tumblr_mhuqfugVOB1rk8wxdo1_400.gif
I guess some people just wish they were privy to how it was named.
Every regular shift has to be certified to use CPR in case of an emergency, and there was an announcement about a class on the announcements, but it was phrased in a weird way.
"If you need CPR, please sign up at the front desk."
Well I can't really sign up as I'm very near death right now.
Friend: "Awesome guest announcement for a Melbourne convention. He voiced Mojo Jojo in the Powerpuff Girls and Ghostface"
Me: "I have no idea who or what Ghostface is"
Friend: "Scream"
Me: "I did, and I still have no idea who Ghostface is"
