I tried grilled Aloe Vera at a restaurant today.
It was succulent.
My 8-year old ran past me and I shouted to her: "Hey, you lost something!"
She stops and ask "What?"
- "Your speed!"
She glares at me and says: "Dad, you lost something!"
- "What?"
- "Your hair!"
Oof.
True story.
How do Pirates treat sunburn?
ALOE, POPPET
What do you call a fit Bison?
A buff-alo.
What do Australians use for their sunburn?
Aloe, mate.
What dinosaur is the best at treating sunburns?
An Aloe-saurus!
My magnum opus. Even though the Photoshop skills are something quite atrocious. (Pic)
http://imgur.com/p8zGyin
My friend Vera knocked on the door
Aloe Vera.
Nectarines are peaches without fuzz. Alopecia is hair loss. So...
Are Nectarines Alo-peaches?
The man's wife asked him why he put succulents in front of all the windows.
He said "Because, honey. Aloe view."
Why do bananas need sunscreen?
Because they peel.
What did the succulent say when it meets new plants?
Aloe there
What's it called when plants pay child support?
aloe-veramony
Someone stole my succulent plant.
That was aloe move.
I'm a dad, here's my joke: Which range animal likes to graze naked?
A BUFF-alo.
Why did a sunburnt Adele cross the road?
To get aloe from the other side!
How does an Englishman treat his sunburns?
Aloe, guvnah!
What would a rare steak say if it could talk?
Do you have some Aloe Vera?
So my dad uses this drug called Allosig...
Every time he pulls it out of the medicine cabinet, the family hears a great big 'ALLO SIG' from Dad, as if he were a cockney brit saying hi to someone named Sig.
Every bloody time. Same thing happens if any of us need aloe vera.
