Why did Billy ride a hot air balloon?

He wanted to be a Billyonair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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What do you call the tv show where hot air balloons are attached to peoples cars

Blimp My Ride

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brandon_Mercer078
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.

Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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I wanted to be a hot air balloon pilot

But that career never really got off the ground

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PreviousWater
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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The hot air balloon driver is refusing to come down, and the cops are still trying to figure out why.

Everything is still up in the air.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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A hot air balloon company went out of business

Because high inflation rates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asbjorn124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Two balloons are floating through the air. One balloon says to the other, β€œwatch out for that cactus!”

The other balloon says, β€œwhat cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssssss”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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I’ve been trying to start a hot air balloon business

I just can’t seem to get it off the ground

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerodsanto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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My mate lives in a hot air balloon.

He's got the high life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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Went to an event that was supposed to have lots of hot air balloons...

...It did not. Email exchange with dad:

Dad: Hey son, how were the balloons?

Me: Total lie. There was 1 balloon for 15 minutes.

Dad: That blows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alwayshungry88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
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Why do you need to be so careful if you're learning about hot air ballooning as a hobby?

It's easy to get carried away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aelbaum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Sure my dad didn't write this, but it was always one of his favorites. The organs were having a meeting...

"Did I ever tell you about the asshole?"

"What?"

"Well, the asshole was at a meeting with all of the other body parts, and they were deciding who should be in charge of the whole body, right? So first, the brain says, 'C'mon, obviously I should be the boss. I do all of the decisions, thinking--why is this even a question?'

'Well, good luck doing all of the thinking if you can't see where you're going,' say the eyes. 'We should be in charge.'

'What good is it going to do seeing, if you can't get anywhere?' asked the legs.

'Well, without us, you'd have no oxygen,' said the lungs.

'Are you serious?' said the stomach. 'How are you supposed to process energy and do any of this stuff, without me??'

'Well, what about me?' piped up the asshole. 'I'm important too..'

'You?!?' laughed the other parts. 'Shut up, asshole!'

So the asshole went on strike.

A week and a half later, the brain couldn't think straight. The eyes couldn't focus, the legs were asleep from sitting on the pot, and the stomach was so jammed up full of crap that the lungs could barely breathe.

Finally, they all went to the asshole and said, 'Look, we're sorry, we're sorry!! Just come back to work, you can be in charge!'

...and that's why all bosses are assholes."

Miss ya, Pops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paprikashi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2015
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A family of balloons

Here's a joke my dad told me. Sorry if you've heard it, but I found it hilarious, and I think you might enjoy it.

In a small town in the suburbs, there was a small family of balloons. There was a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon, and a small child balloon. Every night the boy would sleep between his parents, but his father had had enough.

"son, I know you love sleeping between us, but you're getting a bit too old for it., " the father said. "You're nearly 8, you're a big boy, and your mother and I think you should sleep in your own bed from now on. You can stay tonight but starting tomorrow we want you in your own bed. Do you understand?"

"Yeah dad, I understand..." the boy said with a maudlin tinge to his voice.

"okay son, I love you."

"love you too dad"

The next night the boy tried sleeping in his own bed, but there was a storm outside. It was a dark, ominous storm - the kind of storm that sounds like a cataclysm for the end of the world.

The boy was scared, so he went to sleep in his parents room. However when he tried to squeeze between them, he found he didn't fit. He felt defeated. He felt scared. He felt alone.

But then an idea struck him. He decided he'd just let a little bit of air out of his father. He tried to squeeze in again, but had no such luck. So he let a little bit of air out of his mother. He tried again. Still no luck. Finally, he decided to let some air out of himself. Success! He squeezed in tightly and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning his parents were furious. His father was feeling particularly angry, and screamed at his son.

"son, I told you not to sleep in our room. I told you to sleep in your own bed! Didn't I say that Hun?"

"yes dear," the mother said, feeling slightly deflated.

"so son, what do you have to say for yourself?" the father asked in anger.

"it was dark and stormy and..." the boy tried to spit out.

"I don't care son!" the father interrupted. "you can't keep doing this! I'm very disappointed. You've let me down, you've let me down, but worst of all..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aesyr_raps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloon have a little Baby Balloon and for the first few weeks, he sleeps in the same bed with Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloon…

…but as he grows older and bigger, Daddy Balloon insists he sleeps in his own bed.

Baby Balloon doesn't like being all alone, he misses his Mommy and Daddy so much, that after a few nights, he tries to sneak back into Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloon's bed, only to find that he had grown too big to fit in the bed with them!

He decides to let some air out of Mommy Balloon, but there's still not enough room, so he let's some air out of Daddy Balloon, but again there's not enough room, so he lets some air out of himself and finally he fits into the bed!

Well, the following morning Daddy Balloon is furious!

"I am very disappointed with you!" says Daddy Balloon. "Not only have you let your Mother down, but you have let me down and let yourself down!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
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My 6th grade teacher was the king of dad jokes.

My 6th grade teacher had a reputation of being the meanest, strictest teacher on campus, but once I made it through his class, I realized he could be a jokester, too.

-In math class, he liked to tell a long, complicated story about a boy encountering a genie, eventually wishing for some odd things, just to end it with the punchline, "Gee, I'm a tree." (geometry)

-Another one of his long jokes consisted of a man being chased by a hearse. In a fit of desperation, he throws some Halls throat lozenges at it...."and the coffin went away."

-During study time, he would sometimes grab a balloon from his desk, blow it up, and proceed to slowly let air out of it, just to produce the squeaky noise.

-His favorite short joke: "Doctor, doctor, I broke my arm in three places!" "I advise you to stay out of those places."

-He was also probably the all-time leader of correcting, "Can I go to the bathroom?"

-He would also occasionally play opera music at the end of the day, not dismissing the class until we made it through an entire song without laughing.

-There were also a couple words that incited a specific reaction from him. Many of these words showed up often in history class, which is his favorite subject (probably because of all the jokes):

Anyway, it was a fun year with that teacher. I'll add more of his quirks if I think of any.

-Also,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyei8hts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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