My neighbor and I have been battling with epees lately, which has aided in our friendship...
You know what they say, good fences make good neighbors.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid.
But he just wonβt listen.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Just finished watching a documentary on how Kool-Aid was made
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Trump's top aides have Coronavirus
It would appear he has a staff infection
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Just bought a first aid kit...
Thought I'd treat myself.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
How long does it take to fix a hearing aid?
I submitted mine for repairs three weeks ago and I haven't heard a thing since then.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Does anyone know how long it takes to repair a hearing aid?
I sent mine away 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything since.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
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︎ Jul 20 2020
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid
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︎ Jul 30 2020
I told me my doctor I didnβt want her to give me stitches.
She said βfine, suture self.β
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I've heard they just launched the new reptilian-focused aid programme.
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︎ Aug 21 2020
Have you heard the joke about the guy with the broke hearing aid?
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︎ Aug 08 2020
My girlfriend said she might leave me because I didn't give her sufficient First-Aid assistance when she needed it.
Well, I wouldn't put it plaster
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︎ May 21 2020
What do you call paramedics in a rock concert?
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︎ Dec 20 2020
An old man was telling his friend about his new hearing aid, "the greatest in the world!" "You can hear a pin drop."
Friend: Wow! What kind is it?
Old man: quarter past 2.
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︎ Apr 15 2020
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid. βState of the Art,β he said, βIt cost me a fortune.β
I said, βAwesome. What type is it?β
He said, β Two thirty.β
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︎ Oct 12 2018
Why do court room stenographers talk loudly?
Because theyβre hearing aides!
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︎ Dec 30 2020
The other day I walked into my son's room and found him with an open first aid kit, preparing to stitch up a cut on his forearm.
I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."
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︎ Mar 14 2020
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
Itβs really hard to pull off.
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︎ Oct 27 2019
We keep telling grandad to change his hearing aid
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︎ Oct 27 2019
Who says, "Bugs, you stole my hearing aids?! You're despicable!"
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 02 2020
In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.
After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Why should you always use hearing protection?
Because otherwise you need hearing aids
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What do you call mosquitoes that catch AIDS
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︎ Dec 21 2019
Y'all hear that "The Kool-Aide Man" started a baseball team?
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︎ May 01 2019
What do you call a swarm of bees that have AIDS?
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︎ May 05 2019
I thought Iβd go as a Band-Aid this Halloween, but then decided not to.
I think itβll be hard to pull off.
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︎ Sep 22 2019
Why is the Kool-Aid Man red instead of purple?
Because with grape powder comes great responsibility.
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︎ Nov 08 2019
Why did the nurse get second chair in the symphony?
Because they were a Band-Aid
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Today I received a call regarding a new hearing aid.
The connection was bad, I couldnβt hear a thing.
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︎ Oct 26 2019
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row and now I feel a little sick.
Must be the high Mercury content.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
What do you call a reptilian std?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Did you hear the one about the guy who lost his hearing aids?
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︎ Nov 30 2020
I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid.
But he just wonβt listen.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair.
I've heard nothing since.
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︎ Jun 24 2020
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 09 2020
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?
π︎ 56
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︎ Nov 14 2019
I sent my hearing aids in for repair about a month ago.
Iβve heard nothing since
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︎ Sep 03 2019
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?
π︎ 15
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︎ Oct 31 2019
I bought myself a first aid kit today.
I thought I would Treat myself.
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︎ Jul 05 2019
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 15 2019
I bought a first aid kit
I felt it was time to treat myself
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︎ Sep 28 2019
3 weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair
I've heard nothing since.
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︎ Jan 02 2019
Three weeks ago i sent my hearing aids im for repair:
I've heard nothing since.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 31 2019
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