It was kinda pointless...
..and it has given me food forethought.
Which happens to be jack shit.
Elon musk
it's easy as pi.
The whole idea of Forge of Umpires confuses me.
They're always living on the bleating edge.
Elon musk
Mary was giving Joseph the silent treatment for not booking a room in advance (this came from my dad 🤣🤣)
It's like they're a decade ahead.
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait.”
Kid: dad, I’m hungry.
Dad: hey hungry, my name is _______
Sorry in advance
They live in a decade above us.
Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.
So I heard Minecraft recently passed Fortnite as most searched game.
Whoever made the game must have really brought it up a Notch.
AD4K
A thyme traveller.
"Albrecht, why did you schutzhund in the house?!"
But I just can't get into it.
It's groundbreaking.
I told a pilot to try my cooking
He said it was plane
It goes very deep
Dad: It sure is a nice day for a baseball game.
Mom: Tomorrow it will be too
Dad: Oh, it’s a doubleheader?
Mom and me: 🤔
Dad: Wry smile
Me: Dad, you still got it
It was a real page-turner.
Notify the baa tender.
What did members of the Politburo wear to keep cool in the summer?
A: Lenin suits
What did the Soviet General Secretary say when he slipped and fell on ice in front of the Kremlin?
A: That'll leave a Marx!
What did the Commissar say to the workers on the collective farm when they slacked off?
A: Stop Stalin and get to work!
What did the Chinese President say when he stubbed his toe?
A: Mao! That hurts!
An officer in the Iranian army is talking to a subordinate.
The officer says, "Private, I think it's gonna rain."
The private says, "You think so, sir? The sky is completely clear and the sun is shining."
20 minutes later it starts to rain, a total deluge ensues.
The private says, "That was an amazing prediction, sir!. It did rain!"
The officer looks at the private, pats him on the shoulder and says, "Private, Ayatollah you so."
his reply: what are they calling it, go amateur?
They should call him Iron-y Man.
He says, “I’m sorry honey. I’ve just got no energy at night.”
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣
Came here before to post a time travel joke...
Edit : Apologies in advance if you're reading this as a repost from tomorrow
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait.”
I said, “Just you wait.”
I told her, “Just you wait.”
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait!”
