I overcame my addiction to eating Thanksgiving leftovers directly out of the fridge.
I didn't use the 12 steps, I quit cold turkey.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Textbook addiction
is a really expensive habit to support
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
I had this really terrible addiction to soap.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
My addiction to refrigerated poultry has gone too far
π︎ 600
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
I need help with my p**n addiction...
...I am running out of stuff to sell!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...
... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"
Wife: "Whatever means necessary,"
Me: "No it doesn'tβ
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
I have a masturbation addiction....
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
My girlfriend left me because of my gambling addiction. She claimed I was an idiot.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
I used to have an addiction to the hokey pokey
Thankfully, I turned myself around
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
I suspect my friend has an unhealthy addiction to knitting quilts.
I have seen all the patterns.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
Her: I think we need to break up. Iβm sick of your addiction to Burger King.
Me: Fine. Have it your way.
π︎ 189
π
︎ Feb 27 2020
I think I have an abnormal addiction to ducks...
My wife says I'm a quack head
*My son, a dad of a 3yr old, made this up when I told him a dad joke from this sub. He has achieved full dadness
Edit: typo
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
I thought I overcame my Whitesnake addiction...
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 01 2020
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.
Maybe I should quit while Iβm a head.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
What do you call the toilet of a king with a gambling addiction?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
My son just told me he has a heroin addiction.
Needles to say, I'm very disappointed.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
My struggle my steroid addiction,
Has only made me stronger.
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 19 2020
I once had an addiction to masturbation...
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 21 2020
My cocaine addiction is getting out of hand
It's time to draw the line.
π︎ 85
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
My wife told me I had to pick between her and my sugar addiction.
I looked over, sadly, and said βGoodbye honey.β
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...
No one is taking my cries for help seriously.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 22 2019
I have an addiction to unpowered flight puns, but I don't like to talk about it.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
Why do nuns have problems with addictions?
They have a hard time kicking the habit.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 28 2019
Why did I fail my class? I may a pun addiction
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
My boyfriend is getting tired of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked him how I could stop my addiction.
He said "Whatever means necessary."
I answered "No it doesn't."
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Aug 30 2018
After 15 years I thought I was finally over my addiction of performing stunts from old western movies
But today I've fallen off the wagon.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
I've recently developed an addiction to using lifts
I'm taking steps to get over it.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.
It was a difficult habit to kick.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
I had to stop my clock-eating addiction
It was pretty time consuming
π︎ 25
π
︎ Aug 11 2019
My wife and I have decided never to talk again about my addiction to aviation puns.
π︎ 63
π
︎ May 27 2019
Our whole family is really worried about grandpa's viagra addiction...
Grandma is taking it particularly hard...
π︎ 71
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
My friend has an addiction to flour and is in recovery. To test him, I brought him to a Panera company...
I was wrong in thinking he was clean and no longer would knead it.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
My therapist just told me that my exhibitionism addiction is incurable.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
Addictions are tough to overcome...
π︎ 34
π
︎ Aug 08 2018
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Apr 27 2019
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
Don't worry, it's only mild.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
Did you hear about the guy who went to rehab for his braille addiction?
Now he doesnβt touch the stuff.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
Welcome to plastic surgery addiction anonymous
I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm disappointed.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 30 2019
I had a serious addiction to club sandwhiches, but i quit cold turkey. Now I only eat BLT's.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 29 2019
Kermit The Frog was struggling with addiction
He was struggling with crack-croakain
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 05 2019
I thought a nicotine addiction was a joke
Turns out Iβm just a fuul
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
I used to have a severe addiction to soap
π︎ 23
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
My friend finally overcame his addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
I bet you that I can quit my gambling addiction!
π︎ 39
π
︎ Oct 02 2019
I had a bad addiction to the hokey pokey..
But I turned myself around.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
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