In the grocery store
Friend: "What's a yucca root for?"
Me: "Laughs"
Everyone groans
Daughter goofing around put a Mr Potato Head hairpiece on Dad's head. "There, now you have a toupee!"
Dad replies, "I already have a lot of 'to-pays'. Electric bill, mortgage, cable, phone..."
He doesn't have a Reddit account old enough to post this one!
In his words:
Not sure if I've heard this one before somewhere, but it made me laugh when it popped in my head when I was waking up. The kids, however, thought it was lame! Here goes:
Why did the baker feel crap?...
Because he kneaded one.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
I was like: is this some kind of yolk?!
So I packed up my stuff and right.
But most have only four
Because in labor is only time she is kidding
Holy Frijoles!
(PS this is original as far as I can tell, so proud yuk yuk)
I have this ongoing thing at the office where whenever this one middle-aged guy (call him Andy) gets a haircut, I say, "Hey Andy, you got a haircut" and Andy, without fail dadjokes me with "I got them ALL cut" and then we yuk it up in the hallway ... this has gone on for years and years, until recently, when Andy decided that due to male-pattern baldness, he would completely shave his head. Now it is not as funny to tell Andy he got his hair cut, because literally he got them ALL cut and it just looks like I am making fun of him. (:(
Me: "Hey dad is the old courthouse made of granite?"
Dad: "I dont know, but we definitely take it for granite"
Yuk yuk yuk
