What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
π︎ 76
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
What do you call an elf that lives in New York City?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?
A cab
(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
Never ask anyone whether they prefer New York City or Syracuse.
That's comparing apples to oranges.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
Theres a lot of tall men around parts of new york
Especially long guy land.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
My glitch happened when I forgot to renew my subscription to a weekly news magazine based in New York City.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Did you hear about the viagara truck hijacked in New York the other day?
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago ?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
Did you hear what the New York Times editor-in-chief said on their last day?
"Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
Why do Indians love New York?
Because there's a Delhi on every block.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
I propose that the much desired New York Strip Steak be renamed to Washington DC.
This will make the District of Columbia, finally a steak.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
2 cats in New York test pawsitive for Coronavirus
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
I once hiked to a lake with the states of Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York on its western, southern, and eastern shores. Not a bird was singing and the lake was still...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
BREAKING NEWS: New York subway car breaks down after laptop explodes. When asked what happened, the NYPD responded:
A Dell set fire to the train
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 19 2020
What New York borough has the lowest cholesterol levels?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 21 2020
I can't believe they gave that engineer who wrecked the train in New York the electric chair. And he survived it!
I guess he just wasn't a very good conductor.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
Ever wondered why there are so many people named Tony in New York?
Itβs because on their luggage it said To N.Y
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
How do you call it when your previous wife moves to New York from a small town?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
The Russian president visited New York and stayed at a pretty swanky hotel.
He was Putin on the Ritz.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 17 2019
Dad:Hey kids! We are going on vacation to East York, PA. Again This year!
Kids: aww again?
Dad: yeah, I always like taking a trip down memory lane.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 15 2020
What is Edward Benedict's, Humpty Dumpty's cousin from New York, favorite time of year?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
What does the chef of a Chinese New York restaurant say, when you barge into their kitchen?
HEYYY I'M WOKKIN ERE π½π³
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 05 2019
Where does Black Panther stay when he's in New York?
π︎ 39
π
︎ Mar 13 2019
What building in New York has the most stories?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
New York City once had 4 sections and New Jersey needed to borough one.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
When you regret ordering salmon over a New York strip
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
You know what New York City said to London when it was his turn?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jun 10 2019
How do you ask the bridge that crosses New York's Hudson River between Tarrytown and Nyack if it speaks German?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 14 2019
What should you do if you see someone choking at a famous New York museum?
Perform the Guggenheimlich maneuver.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 16 2019
Why did the vampire subscribe to the new york times?
He heard it had great circulation.
Btw can we start a trend of holloween dad jokes for the coming month? Plus I'd love to hear some pumpkin puns.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 21 2018
What did the fisherman from New York say to the magician?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 21 2019
New York Customer tells the chef that he knows the secret ingredient
The chef promptly asks who told you? Customer says, I have my sauces.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 23 2019
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2019
I was once so drunk I went from New York to Alabama,
I guess you could say I wasnβt in the best of states.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 22 2019
New York Post: "How Patriots owner Robert Craft could get off in prostitution case"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 28 2019
"DELETER OF THE FREE WORLD" - New York Post front page on the Hillary email scandal
imgur.com/0BNIPzn
π︎ 141
π
︎ Mar 11 2015
When my friend from New York City drove to Nebraska in his Honda SUV, he went for a walk in the countryside...
He was out of his Element.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 20 2019
New York MTA (subway) dad must be in control of writing for the website...
π︎ 138
π
︎ Sep 24 2015
Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?
Because she can't lay down
(Old guy at work told me this today)
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 29 2018
I never sausage a thing as her tenderloins, til your New York strip.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 11 2017
Back when I lived in New York, I had a friend named Justin, who worked as an NBA clock operator.
We called him Justin, the Knick of time.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 20 2015
Where do New York dad's go to get new jokes?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 24 2017
New York might have the Big Apple...
But Minnesota is where the Minneapolis
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jan 31 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.