Hey!

My name's Connor (two n's!) and I'm 18. Recently, I came across a project called the CEO Sleepout and decided to get involved.

It'll see me being sponsored to battle the elements overnight on York Racecourse this coming Monday, 16th April, and to donate that money to charities supporting some of the most vulnerable members of our society.

Of course, I'm really nervous, given that there's no guide to rough sleeping, but I'm excited to see what a difference my work can make.

Every donation counts, and every share on social media helps me get closer to my goal. Please feel free to visit my website for more information at gxrney.me/ceosleepout, or tweet me @gxrneyme if you have questions etc.

Thanks in advance!

C x

New cases and information reported in the last 24 hours

• Local cases:

  • +57 new locally acquired cases:
    • 54 cases are linked to known outbreaks. 3 cases are under investigation
    • 44 cases have been in isolation for the entirety of their infectious period.

• Overseas cases:

  • +0 new overseas cases recorded.

• 💉 Vaccinations:

  • +27,529 (daily record) additional vaccinations were recorded for yesterday (only includes vaccinations being performed at Victoria's hospital immunisation hubs).
  • The 2 million vaccinations mark has been passed. A total of 2,022,513 doses have been administered at state vaccination hubs
  • Note 1: Phase 1b vaccinations are being performed by GPs and at respiratory clinics. These statistics will be reported by Federal government.
  • Note 2: We are reporting the increment since yesterday, which may differ from the actual number of vaccinations performed on the day.

• ℹ️Statements from the Premier:

  • 16 of August: Extended Melbourne lockdown to keep Victorians safe.
  • 11 of August: Extended Melbourne lockdown to keep Victorians safe.
  • 5 of August: Seven day lockdown to keep Victorians safe

Update: Extended lockdown

Strengthened extensions are in effect from 11:59pm Tuesday 16 August.

To see more information, visit COVIDSafe Settings.

⚠️ Case alerts – public exposure sites ⚠️

As the list is constantly being updated with new location and details, please always refer to the DH website for the most up to date and accurate information.

Exposure sites added in last 24 hours:

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Just a little shout out to those who might not know this area in York.

I know now it’s not Knavesmire as I mistakenly put in the heading but really is South Bank - and it’s near the racecourse.

Many houses here were built years ago to house the workers from the Terry’s chocolate factory.

It’s very old and atmospheric with ginnels and surprisingly quiet streets.

Four places make it special.

There’s the huge Knavesmire pub which does great pints and tapas. Salt cod croquettes a favourite.

There’s also a fantastic butchers shop near by with great pies,

Fred’s great value bakery with the justly famous bacon baps

and a superb little corner shop with everything you’d want but especially craft ale from The Turning Point brewery and a tremendous selection of chocolate.

Are there any other hidden gem suburbs in York like South Bank? Places worth going out of your way for, for a walk, a visit to a shop or a pint?

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

BamBOO!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Hi! I was making notes for changing these things (and more) for my upcoming save, so I thought I could post it here so hopefully some can use it to make their edit and preparation faster.

Stadiums - focused mostly on England and cups. Clubs not mentioned have a real stadium or I needed not important to list (Europe). For England, I went through the stadiums and made sure they are visually as close as possible, with some variety. For European teams, you can mostly leave the stadium the same, just rename. There are some optional stadiums at the end as well.

Stadiums in Premier League:

Brentford - Stadion Neder - Brentford Community Stadium

Stadiums in Championship:

Barnsley - Ivy Lane - Oakwell
Birmingham - Stade Municipal - St. Andrews
Blackburm - Ivy Lane - Ewood Park
Blackpool - Molton road - Bloomfield Road
Bristol City - Forest Park Stadium - Ashton Gate
Coventry - Sanderson Park - Ricoh Arena
Derby County - Molton Road - Pride Park Stadium
Luton town - Court Lane - Kenilworth Road
Millwall - Ivy Lane - The Den
Nottingham F - Forest Park Stadium - City Ground
Peterborough - Court Lane - London road
Preston - Ivy Lane - Deepdale
Reading - Molton Road - Madejski Stadium

Stadiums in League One:

Accrington - Town Park - Crown Ground
A Wimbledon - Court Lane - Plough Lane
Bolton - Sanderson Park - Uni of Bolton Stadium
Burton Albion - Town Park - Pirelli Stadium
Cambridge - Town Park - Abbey Stadium
Chalton - Forest Park Stadium - The Valley
Cheltenham - Town Park - Whaddon Road
Crewe - Court Lane - Gresty Road
Doncaster - Molton Road - Keepmoat Stadium
Fleetwood Town - Crown Lane - Highbury Stadium
Gillingham - Crown lane - Priestfield Stadium
Ipswich - Ivy Lane - Portman Road
Lincoln - Court Lane - Sincil Bank
Milton keynes - Molton Road - Stadium MK
Morecambe - Aloha Park - Mazuma Stadium
Oxford United - Aloha Park - Kassam Stadium
Plymouth Argyle - Molton Road - Home park
Rotherham Utd - Molton Road - New York Stadium
Sheffield W - Ivy Lane - Hillsborough
Shrewsbury - Court Lane - New Meadow
Wigan Athletic - Ivy Lane - DW Stadium
Wycombe - Court Lane - Adams Park

Stadiums in League Two:

Barrow - Aloha Park - Holker Street
Bradford City - Ivy Lane - Valley Parade
Bristol Rovers - Court Lane - Memorial Stadium
Carlisle - Crown lane - Brunton Park
Colchester - Forest

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.