Whereabouts Puns

I’m his uncle monitor.

Encryption!

When asked to comment, officials stated that the investigation was still Kim Yo-Jongoing.

…The detective announced, “all evidence points to this murder being committed with a golf gun.”

“A golf gun!” His deputy exclaimed. “What the hell is a golf gun?”

“Oh you know, it’s a gun that shoots golf balls at high velocity.”

The deputy was incredulous. “Why would you shoot someone with a golf gun?”

“I don’t know,” said the detective grimly. “But they got a hole in Juan.”

It asked the bartender to not disclose it's whereabouts to it's owner who was about to step in.

The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.

I was driving with my permit and my Dad was in the passenger seat. He is notoriously good with directions (and at the time I was unfamiliar with our whereabouts), we are approaching a dead end stop sign (I can only turn left or right). I proceed to ask my dad about 30 yards away from the intersection if it was faster to go left or right (to our destination) he simply replies "yes."

Anytime I bring it up now he just chuckles and changes the subject.

My housemate: Do they have brakes?

Me: No, because then somebody would have to remember whereabouts on the track all the cyclists were while they got a bottle of water and a snack.

My housemate: ugh.

At a big family get together, 30+ people all around a big table eating lunch and my dad asks the whereabouts of his sister. My uncle says she's had to go to the vets, to which he replies:

" Could she not afford a doctor!?"

The simultaneous groans were amazing, and he had the biggest grin on his face!

However seeing as we have "free" healthcare here in the UK, it doesn't really make too much sense, but we let him have his moment