My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Feb 13 2021
does anyone know if a doctor can take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Which of the penguins relatives always gets the most visitors?
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︎ May 30 2021
What country are Ned Flandersβ relatives from?
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 06 2021
What do you call a sleepy relative?
π︎ 99
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︎ Jan 16 2021
The best way to get in touch with your long lost relatives....
....is to win the lottery.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Family is a relative term
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 04 2021
A man came back to his home one day to find his relatives crying near the house
He asked what was wrong and they told him that his wife had died and that they were preparing to bury her.
The man replied: "that's grave news!"
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 06 2021
I brought over the wrong pastries to my relatives' house for Christmas brunch
Now I'm stuck with a bunch of cross-aunts
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︎ Dec 26 2020
I was scared when my professor told me we were going to learn about relative dating today...
Until I learned it wasnβt the Alabama kind.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
What's the name of the relative who owns a shop that specializes in vintage items made from hardwood?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 31 2020
At Thanksgiving this year Iβm going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.
They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Iβve just been informed that a distant relative left me a very expensive watch in his will.
I hope itβs not a wind up
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What does Mario use to contact his dead relatives?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 04 2020
So if time and space are both relatives...
Why don't they ever come to my birthday parties?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Who was Jesusβ least favorite relative?
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 19 2020
We all have that on relative who breaks everything they touch. Mine is my...
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 09 2020
What do you call relatives that sleep together?
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 04 2020
When my friend won the lottery he was alarmed out how many relatives started contacting him...
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 06 2020
What did the foot exclaim when it met its long lost relative?
π︎ 13
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︎ May 22 2020
Heβs not just my swole relative. Heβs my pumped kin.
π︎ 44
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︎ Oct 21 2019
All my relatives suffer from incontinence.
You could say diarrhea runs in the family.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Iβm creating a new show about a leatherworker that goes crazy and murders his relatives
Itβs called Awl in the Family
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 16 2020
What do you call your elderly male relative whoβs always taking pictures?
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, except for my grandad who was a bank robber.
He died recently surrounded by his family.
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︎ Sep 05 2019
I was hiking in the mountains and was attacked by 10 relatives of the rabbit!
It was a hare-y situation, lemme tell ya.
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 31 2019
I just found out that a distant relative of mine was a cannibal and ate 3 people.
Thatβs a lot to digest.
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︎ Feb 04 2019
I'm Caucasian but my wife's relatives are from Southeast Asia
It's easy to tell who my in-laws are when they are Hmong my family
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 31 2019
In my family we only marry our relatives.
My dad married my mom, my uncle married my aunt, and my grandpa married my grandma, etc.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 03 2019
Who is the penguinβs favorite relative?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Albert Einstein once said that time is relative
I donβt remember anyone in my family named time
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 07 2019
My wife accused me of hating all her family and relatives.
I told her thatβs ridiculous, I love your mother-in-law!
π︎ 30
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︎ Jul 17 2019
Did you know that there is a special motel room for relatives?
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 21 2019
What do you call a distant relative of the leg?
π︎ 40
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︎ Mar 23 2019
I've got a relative that's really good at stopping people sneezing..
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 02 2019
Family members you donβt know very well are relative strangers.
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 20 2018
If time is relative
then why doesnβt it send me post cards
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 11 2019
Does anyone know if it's possible to have a skin graft taken from a buttock to donate to someone who isn't a relative?
π︎ 128
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Does anyone know if doctors could take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives. I said, βAbsolutely not! No, I donβt hate your relatives. In fact..."
"I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine!"
π︎ 20
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︎ Jul 30 2020
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jun 15 2018
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Sep 05 2017
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I said, I don't hate your relatives, in fact, I like your mother in law a lot more than I like mine
π︎ 43
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 26 2019
My wife accused me of hating all her relatives...
I replied, βNo, I donβt hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot more than I like mine.β
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 11 2018
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 193
π
︎ Mar 26 2017
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