Does anyone know if doctors could take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
What are the relatives of the Invisible Man?
π︎ 75
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︎ Nov 08 2020
At Thanksgiving this year Iβm going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.
They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Iβve just been informed that a distant relative left me a very expensive watch in his will.
I hope itβs not a wind up
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 24 2020
So if time and space are both relatives...
Why don't they ever come to my birthday parties?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 14 2020
We all have that on relative who breaks everything they touch. Mine is my...
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Who was Jesusβ least favorite relative?
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 19 2020
When my friend won the lottery he was alarmed out how many relatives started contacting him...
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 06 2020
What do you call relatives that sleep together?
π︎ 14
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︎ Aug 04 2020
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives. I said, βAbsolutely not! No, I donβt hate your relatives. In fact..."
"I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine!"
π︎ 19
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︎ Jul 30 2020
What did the foot exclaim when it met its long lost relative?
π︎ 11
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︎ May 22 2020
All my relatives suffer from incontinence.
You could say diarrhea runs in the family.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Iβm creating a new show about a leatherworker that goes crazy and murders his relatives
Itβs called Awl in the Family
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Heβs not just my swole relative. Heβs my pumped kin.
π︎ 46
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︎ Oct 21 2019
What do you call your elderly male relative whoβs always taking pictures?
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 16 2020
I was hiking in the mountains and was attacked by 10 relatives of the rabbit!
It was a hare-y situation, lemme tell ya.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, except for my grandad who was a bank robber.
He died recently surrounded by his family.
π︎ 47
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︎ Sep 05 2019
I'm Caucasian but my wife's relatives are from Southeast Asia
It's easy to tell who my in-laws are when they are Hmong my family
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 31 2019
In my family we only marry our relatives.
My dad married my mom, my uncle married my aunt, and my grandpa married my grandma, etc.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 03 2019
Who is the penguinβs favorite relative?
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Albert Einstein once said that time is relative
I donβt remember anyone in my family named time
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 07 2019
Did you know that there is a special motel room for relatives?
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 21 2019
I've got a relative that's really good at stopping people sneezing..
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 02 2019
My wife accused me of hating all her family and relatives.
I told her thatβs ridiculous, I love your mother-in-law!
π︎ 28
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︎ Jul 17 2019
I just found out that a distant relative of mine was a cannibal and ate 3 people.
Thatβs a lot to digest.
π︎ 83
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︎ Feb 04 2019
What do you call a distant relative of the leg?
π︎ 38
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︎ Mar 23 2019
If time is relative
then why doesnβt it send me post cards
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 11 2019
Family members you donβt know very well are relative strangers.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 20 2018
What would you call a place where toilets jump over your relatives
Johns Hopkins
PS:I came up with this myself but its probably shit anyway lol
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 01 2018
What do you call a piece of wood who's relative just died
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 06 2017
What's the best way to install a toilet relative to the wall?
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 17 2017
Which is the best relative to take to the club?
Aunts aunts aunts aunts aunts aunts.
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 11 2016
What do you call a gourdβs relatives?
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 16 2017
Wife and I went to replace some flowers on a relative's grave today.
She tried to mention buying our own grave plots as we were leaving.
I told her that "This was the last thing I needed!"
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 22 2016
So we are visiting relatives in Milwaukee this Christmas...
Dad: Wow, Milwaukee is a long ways away from home. This is going to be a long trip home.
Me: ...
Dad: You know how we could get home faster?
Me: How?
Dad: Mil-runny!
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 22 2013
In the middle of cooking dinner for our relatives, my dad comes up to me ...
Says "I regret to inform you, but we are out of time " and holds this up.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 26 2014
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jun 15 2018
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I said, I don't hate your relatives, in fact, I like your mother in law a lot more than I like mine
π︎ 46
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Sep 05 2017
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 26 2019
My wife accused me of hating all her relatives...
I replied, βNo, I donβt hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot more than I like mine.β
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 11 2018
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 193
π
︎ Mar 26 2017
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