Does anyone know if doctors could take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
What are the relatives of the Invisible Man?
π︎ 73
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︎ Nov 08 2020
At Thanksgiving this year Iβm going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.
They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 22 2020
What does Mario use to contact his dead relatives?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Iβve just been informed that a distant relative left me a very expensive watch in his will.
I hope itβs not a wind up
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 24 2020
So if time and space are both relatives...
Why don't they ever come to my birthday parties?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 14 2020
We all have that on relative who breaks everything they touch. Mine is my...
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Who was Jesusβ least favorite relative?
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 19 2020
What do you call relatives that sleep together?
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 04 2020
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives. I said, βAbsolutely not! No, I donβt hate your relatives. In fact..."
"I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine!"
π︎ 20
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︎ Jul 30 2020
When my friend won the lottery he was alarmed out how many relatives started contacting him...
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 06 2020
What did the foot exclaim when it met its long lost relative?
π︎ 13
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︎ May 22 2020
All my relatives suffer from incontinence.
You could say diarrhea runs in the family.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Iβm creating a new show about a leatherworker that goes crazy and murders his relatives
Itβs called Awl in the Family
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Heβs not just my swole relative. Heβs my pumped kin.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
What do you call your elderly male relative whoβs always taking pictures?
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 16 2020
I was hiking in the mountains and was attacked by 10 relatives of the rabbit!
It was a hare-y situation, lemme tell ya.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, except for my grandad who was a bank robber.
He died recently surrounded by his family.
π︎ 45
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︎ Sep 05 2019
I'm Caucasian but my wife's relatives are from Southeast Asia
It's easy to tell who my in-laws are when they are Hmong my family
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 31 2019
In my family we only marry our relatives.
My dad married my mom, my uncle married my aunt, and my grandpa married my grandma, etc.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
Who is the penguinβs favorite relative?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Albert Einstein once said that time is relative
I donβt remember anyone in my family named time
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
Did you know that there is a special motel room for relatives?
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 21 2019
I've got a relative that's really good at stopping people sneezing..
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 02 2019
I just found out that a distant relative of mine was a cannibal and ate 3 people.
Thatβs a lot to digest.
π︎ 83
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︎ Feb 04 2019
My wife accused me of hating all her family and relatives.
I told her thatβs ridiculous, I love your mother-in-law!
π︎ 29
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︎ Jul 17 2019
What do you call a distant relative of the leg?
π︎ 43
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︎ Mar 23 2019
If time is relative
then why doesnβt it send me post cards
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 11 2019
Family members you donβt know very well are relative strangers.
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 20 2018
What would you call a place where toilets jump over your relatives
Johns Hopkins
PS:I came up with this myself but its probably shit anyway lol
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 01 2018
What do you call a piece of wood who's relative just died
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 06 2017
What's the best way to install a toilet relative to the wall?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 17 2017
Which is the best relative to take to the club?
Aunts aunts aunts aunts aunts aunts.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 11 2016
What do you call a gourdβs relatives?
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 16 2017
Wife and I went to replace some flowers on a relative's grave today.
She tried to mention buying our own grave plots as we were leaving.
I told her that "This was the last thing I needed!"
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 22 2016
So we are visiting relatives in Milwaukee this Christmas...
Dad: Wow, Milwaukee is a long ways away from home. This is going to be a long trip home.
Me: ...
Dad: You know how we could get home faster?
Me: How?
Dad: Mil-runny!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 22 2013
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jun 15 2018
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I said, I don't hate your relatives, in fact, I like your mother in law a lot more than I like mine
π︎ 45
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Sep 05 2017
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 26 2019
My wife accused me of hating all her relatives...
I replied, βNo, I donβt hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot more than I like mine.β
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 11 2018
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
π︎ 195
π
︎ Mar 26 2017
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