In a recent interview with David Draiman a reporter commented on his remarkable quarantine weight gain.

Disturbed's lead singer just laughed like a monkey and said he was "down with the thiccness."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Catillionaire
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
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I gain too much weight around the holidays

I need to stop eating cold turkey

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/musingsofmadness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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My friend Wat never gains weight on vacation

Wat goes a round, comes a round

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2020
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I didn't mean to gain so much weight.

It happened by snaccident.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2019
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I'm told pasta makes you gain weight

But I'm in for a penne so I'm in for a pound

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rhedkiex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2019
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Why did the Trump supporter gain weight?

To own the lbs.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1b1d
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2018
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Some friends of mine were talking about how eating pizza would make them gain weight

I responded by telling them that if I’m really patient, I gain wait

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IHaveTenderLoins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2019
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My partner is telling me that I'm gaining a lot of weight from eating a lot of Indian food

But I think it's a naan issue.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brichouse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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When people comment on my gaining weight, I like to call my Dad body.

My father figure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
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You know gaining weight actually makes anything more attractive

Gravitationally attractive that is

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlueRac
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2019
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My cat gained so much weight that I had to put her down

My arms got tired but I'll pick her up again later

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JennaTalia22
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2019
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If you’ve gained weight and nobody wants to mention it, you are the elephant in the room reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theinternetistoobig
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2019
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A side effect of gaining weight is often...

a waning gait.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flexremmington
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2019
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people laugh my girlfriend because she gained weight

so I told her to lighten up. Ever since that day, she proposed a breakup, and I don't know why.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hokitonline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2017
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I stole this one
πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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How does a clock get fat?

It gains weight OVER TIME

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jcaughman0225
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
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Who was the fattest knight at King Arthur's round table?

Sir cumference

(Courtesy of my granddad today)

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GrapeJuiceAnyone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2018
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I got the DNA test results back for my two adopted dogs...

I told my dad that one of the dogs is a purebred plott hound.

Dad says, "So if she gains weight, then the plott thickens."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/articulateantagonist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2017
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My dad told my mom to lose weight...

Dad: You are starting to gain weight. You need to need to start exercising.

Mom: Well where is the treadmill we used to own?

Dad: It went for a walk.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheShariff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2014
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My boyfriend dad joked my cousin today

So my boyfriend andi have been together for almosta year, and he has really spent a lot of time with my kids. We were ata birthday party for my son, and my cousin was wearing this shirt. She and I were talking and I told her she was too skinny and she was saying that she wasn't, was finally gaining weight, etc, when my boyfriend looked at her and said "That's not true, I can see your bones!" Took a second for everyone to realize it was a joke, and a room full of adults groaned while my boyfriend and I laughed.

Yup, he's definitely got a handle on the dad thing already.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vogueadishu
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2014
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