They're only ammeters.
I don't know watt I'm forgetting
My neighbour is dead against it.
... My neighbours dead against it.
The high voltages.
Apparently ‘with high voltage nipple clamps’ wasn’t the answer they were expecting
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
- Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
- It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
- What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
- Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
- Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
- Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
- If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
- Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
- Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
- American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
- The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
- Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
- Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
- Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
- Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
- Rittal me this, Batman!
- Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
- Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
- If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
- When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
- You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
- Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
- Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
- Don't think Seton is
I was demonstrating for a physics lab today and we were doing an electricity experiment, building circuits and measuring voltage and current with various configurations of resistors.
One pair asked me to look at their results so I picked up the paper and started to shake my head with a scowl on my face.
Girl: What is it? What's wrong?
Me: It's these results.... they're shocking...
After a second of being genuinely worried, they realised I was laughing and looked at me angrily.
Guy: That was terrible.
Me: Sorry, I just couldn't resist.
Cue Groans
I was working on disconnecting an old intercom system in our house when I explained to the wife that it's powered by a low voltage line.
Wife: Can't you just cut the power line?
Me: I need to disconnect it at the transformer where the power comes in.
Wife: Well where's that?
Me: Well they're hard to find because it's a robot in disguise.
My dad and I went to lunch today and I was telling him about the things we are learning in my circuits class. I told him all about voltage, current, circuit elements (this is ECE 101) and all kinds of stuff.
Then I start to explain Kirchoff's circuit law... He says "Not to be confused with Kerchief's law. You know, that law about blowing your nose the right way. I think his name was Hank."
He starts laughing as I groan...
My dad points out the humming from the light over the table, since it's a fluorescent light. He turns to my sister and says "do you know why it's humming?"
Now, my father has been an electrical/mechanical engineer for going on 20 years. My sister is 7, so I expected him to tell her about voltages and whatnot.
But no, he says "Because it can't remember the words to the song."
