The doctor told me my DNA is inverted.

I said "And?"

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife got me an inverted bed for my birthday.

It really turned my life around.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you invert time?

It hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seay_what
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/henchy91
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
πŸ‘︎ 417
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bearsquidinshell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
🚨︎ report
The opposite of a Hitler mustache

Jew Man Chu

So some coworkers were recently discussing what a fu manchu was and it was pointed out that the space under the nose is typically shaved, basically making it an inverted hitler stache

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
An American man and his son went to Finland.

When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one another then back at their guide. "Trust me," he told them, "It's guaranteed or your money back." Having no plans and now both understandably intrigued, the pair agreed. When they arrived at the roller coaster, they were amazed to behold the giant steel skeleton of the most intricate ride they'd ever seen. It had loops, helixes, corkscrews and drops more terrifying than anything they'd ridden back home. The son quickly rescinded his consent and turned you guys father. "There's no way I'm getting on that thing. You go first," he said, "Then you can tell me if it's worth it." Not wanting to seem a coward, the father accepted. Stepping into the first car, he seated himself. As the attendant approached to check his shoulder restraint, her couldn't help but ask, "So how exactly am I supposed to learn an entire language from a roller coaster?" The attendant smiled and replied simply, "You'll see." Anticipation turned to unease as the cars lurched upward towards the first drop. The seconds felt like hours as the car climbed higher and higher, clicking steadily while the chain pulled it skyward. As the nose of the car tipped downward and he could see the enormous drop below, his inner fear turned verbal. Without thinking he screamed, "minΓ€ kuolen!" As he rounded the first turn and into an inverted twist, he debut another exclamation well inside and burst forth. "naida!" He screamed as the ride continued. A few minutes and many foreign-tongued exclamations later, he found himself back at the station trying to catch his breath with the smiling attendant removing his restraints. His ran up to his son and declared, "It really works! I'm not sure how, but it really works!" "How was it?" the son asked unimpressed. "It was a wild ride from start to Finnish." "The son smiled weakly. "Yeah , the cabbie stole our luggage."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CanMan0711
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I waited hours today in the hopes that this joke would get set up right, and it did!

Yesterday, we had a birthday for my daughter. Her cupcakes had her nickname (Mae, like mine) on three, a letter per cupcake. She ate the A.

Around 10ish this morning I realized only M and E were left. So I knew exactly what I wanted to do..

When my son came home from school, he asked what after school snack was.

Me "I was gonna say cupcakes, but they have my name on them"
Him "...M and E?"
Me "uh, yeah. That's ME."

The cupcakes, I even took a picture when I realized what they said. Top two had candles in them, they are not inverted boobs

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaeBeWeird
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.