Vigilance Puns

A list of puns related to "Vigilance"

In times like these, laughter is essential. I don't have much, but for the ever vigilant mod team and you, the subscribers of /r/DadJokes, please allow me to offer this open letter...

C

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Jun 12 2020
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Be vigilant

I hate to do this about a local business but feel you deserve to know. 😕

** Be aware **

We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I'm not going to name them) I'd just been to pick it up and as I were driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what the hell is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out

I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers!

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

... A Peeking Duck!!!

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/beanieboombaby
📅︎ Sep 11 2019
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What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death?

Vigil aunties.

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👤︎ u/shoppingcartoast
📅︎ Aug 09 2019
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Hey Cousin Bruce! Did you hear that my mom goes out and fights crime?

Bruce: Yeah! She's the best vigilAUNTIE out there.

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👤︎ u/mynickname86
📅︎ Oct 10 2019
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why fishes have their eyes wide open?

they must be vigilant, something fishy around there...

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/SAIdriss
📅︎ May 08 2018
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