In a hairy situation with your car? Maybe a sticky situation with your truck? Service with a wink and twinkle in their eye (xpost from r/funny)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omgitsblol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2015
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Orion's Belt is a waist of space

I give it three stars.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adventuremama
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
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I was able to see a distant star with my new glasses...

They put a twinkle in my eyes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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So a friend of mine was putting up Christmas lights and they got stuck in her hair

She was light headed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookie4524
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
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My brother became a husband and a dad on the same day...

I was a groomsmen at my brothers wedding recently and a couple of us had to go to the bathroom before the ceremony started so we asked if we had time to.

My brother turned to us with a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face and said, "Go now or forever hold your pees".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dance_battle_me
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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My favourite memory of grandad

I was visiting as a kid, and saw a bumblebee for the first time (which we didn't have where I grew up - just smaller wild bees and honeybees). When I remarked on how enormous the bees were here, grandad kneeled down with a twinkle in his eye and whispered:

"You should see the size of the rabbits!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plumber_craic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
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Not even hot weather can stop a dad joke.

Okay so where I stay it is unbelievably hot at the moment. We're already on the third heatwave of this summer so far. I came home one afternoon from work to find my roommate sitting at the island counter of the kitchen working on his laptop. He had all the windows and doors wide open and said it was way too hot to work in his room. So later, while I was visiting my parents for dinner, the discussion of the weather came up and I recounted the story with my roomate. My dad got that twinkle in his eyes and said: β€œWell, I guess if you can’t stand the heat, get into the kitchen.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkwr4ith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
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Watching an indoor volleyball game with pops...

One team hits it too far up and it touches a ceiling light. I say "outside interference" and he looks at me, points at the ceiling, and says with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye "if anything that's an inside interference." I love my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Analigator
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
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A Family Trip To The Zoo

My dad, little sister, and I were hanging by the place where they keep the otters. After several minutes of not seeing anything my sister grew impatient. "Where are they? I don't see any of them," she asks.

My dad looks up with a twinkle in his eye, choking back laughter. "Maybe you can't see them 'cause...they're on the otter side..."

God damn it, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePocholo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2015
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Hit my nephew with a classic.

My mom, brother, dad and I were making the food for the dinner. When one of my nephews says "I'm hungry!" My dad and I both had a twinkle in our eyes, so I turn around, and with the most amount of sarcasm I could muster, I said: "Hi hungry, I'm jesusdo." My wife heard me in the living room, and said "oh leave the poor creature alone." My nephew said "I'm serious!" Then my dad said "but I thought that you were hungry a second ago."

Edit: added my dad's response.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesusdo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
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He's my hero...

Today, me and my Dad were in a sports shop buying some bits and pieces for my return to school after summer. We approach the till and I spot the fiendish twinkle in his eye as an idea is born into his head. He picks up a packet of black socks and to the cashier's horror proceeds to ask "Excuse me, do you know if there are right socks and left socks in here because I want both?" while maintaining a perfectly straight face. In her shock she actually looked through the socks and confirmed they were all pairs. I just walked away in tears of hysteria.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Red_Beech
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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My dad found a seed in his clementine...

"But don't tell anyone," he said with a dad-twinkle in his eye, "or they'll ALL want one!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamthetlc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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