What did chewy spray on his best friend after he climbed out of the trash compactor?

Han sanitizer

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was trash talking Jim Morrison, so I sent him to his room.

Nobody slams the Doors in my house

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciceromilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Dad I took out the trash!

Dad: Why did u come back then?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash?

To the dump To the dump To the dump dump dump

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Honey, did you recycle the old computer, or just throw it in the trash?

My boyfriend: Neither. I put it on the .com-post.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HazelNutt125
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a filled trash can?

Trash cannot

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doorbell28
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make trash soup?

It's easy!

Dump, stir.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicoddeffect
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
When your trash can isn't really yours.
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironclyde
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Trash metal, anyone?
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punderants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Trash men

Landed this on my six year old yesterday

Looks like the trash men are outside arguing. How do you know Dad? I just heard one of them yell this job is garbage!

Lost on him. But I have been laughing fir a day

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alonepoe
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Trash can, but I can't.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?

None, just some tea

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call trash that has existed since 1200 BC?

Garb

Because it doesn't age

Idk if this exists already or not but I made it up

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddithomeofmemes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife yells from kitchen: Babe, we're almost out of trash bags...

I yelled back: Well why do you keep throwing them away?

I got a very stern look.

πŸ‘︎ 317
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lboogie09
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a smart trash can that reminds me to take out the trash

Now it keeps trash talking.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baimev3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a painter have in their trash can

Garbeige

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopeNeia062
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss asked me if I wanted to take the trash out or fix the roof

So I took the ladder

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I need a pun about picking up trash/ cleaning the ocean. Any help would be greatly appreciated! :)
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theysayolay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Imagine being such a literal piece of trash...

That sure would stink

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Addog2323
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Last October, I was walking through the cemetery and I came across a trash can where someone had thrown out their Kraft halloween monster themed mac and cheese...

It was the mac.

It was the monster mac.

the monster mac

was in the graveyard trash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brdain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
When I broke my leg, my nice neighbor offered to take out my trash.

That’s an offer I can’t refuse.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you throw your trash at night?

In the dusk-bin

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limitless75
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a light bulb is falling into a trash can?

It’s in-can-descent

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been trying to throw away my trash can for weeks

but the garbageman keeps forgetting to take it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
One Man's trash...
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Benwro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I think I’m done buying trash bags.

I always end up throwing them away anyways.

πŸ‘︎ 284
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
When you drop a lightbulb in the trash can . . .

It’s in-can-descent

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasmimus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call lizard that throws trash on the ground?

A litigator

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I keep telling my boyfriend I don't want trash lying around the house

So he finally took the hint this morning and moved out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wakanda4eva4eva
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife told me to take out the trash, so i ask her where she want to eat for dinner tonight.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/terribledadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife: honey put out the trash

Why, I didn’t know it was on fire

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pugsaredebest
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone took my broken trash bin, but they left theirs.

I don't know who it was, but I have a lid.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bugamn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I keep having to remind my wife & kids not to throw aluminum in the regular trash.

Their commitment to recycling is uncanny.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/casimir1978
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Was putting out the trash only to discover someone has lost control. imgur.com/17sWnsi
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unfrufru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I had to throw rotting chicken in the trash.

It smelled fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How would you know when to take out the trash can?

When it trash can't.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fbiweeb
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve asked my son to stop putting trash in the ocean

But he keeps going back in

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whattajosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gusadh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
🚨︎ report
The cop says, "You can't throw your trash here!"

But officer, the sign right there says, "Fine for littering."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a bust of Cassius Clay made out of trash

Litter Ali

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
[Request] puns about trash

Starting a waste removal company and looking for some punny name ideas. Dirty puns allowed - I'll clean it up, if needed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SHrsch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
🚨︎ report
As my friend shot a piece of cheese into the trash can

He yelled β€œColby!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quenoquesoporque
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a name for my good friend who throws trash on the floor

Literally

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve_ideas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A jogger sees a man in the park throwing his dog's toy in the trash. He stops and asks the man why he's doing this. The man says, "The ball has a picture of a dog printed on it." The jogger, still confused, asks what's wrong with that?

The man replies, "Something about it feels wrong, dude. It just feels like CanineBallism."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcatjazz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report

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