V-egg-tor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockratt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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TIL Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neffability
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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I threw a party tor all the workers who helped build my house. The door guy showed up late...

...but he really knew how to make an entrance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My wife bought me a new shirt for my birthday!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timbillyosu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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What do you call a canine with a medical PhD?

A dog'tor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Which dinosaur survived extinction and is now found in farmer's fields?

The T-rac-tor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RightlyKnightly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Who do you call when Dwayne Johnson is sick?

A Geologist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GJuztice
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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I was in a band called Dark Web.

We would always go on tor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Bad collection of puns

Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.

  1. What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
  2. Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
  3. These puns aren't very eggciting.
  4. lettuce taco bout it?
  5. I will asalt you with puns!
  6. What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
  7. What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
  8. Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
  9. I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
  10. You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
  11. Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
  12. What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
  13. What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
  14. How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!

I'm sorry for the cringe...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titanium_Steel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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How do Finnish people brew their coffee?

They use a perkele-tor.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Where do sick boats go to get better?

To the dock.

Heard it this morning on the Irish classic fm. Loved it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jean_bono178
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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What do you do with a sick duck?

Take it to the duck-tor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCF0RGE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Why couldn't the browser get an erection?

A pop-up blocker was installed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dkolby4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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What do you call an illegal ant?

A tor-ant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuxieDev
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Where do sick ships go?

To the doc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rage-o-rama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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What dinosaur uses the bathroom the fastest?

A veloci-crap-tor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hercules300AAC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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What Do Internet Guides Do When They Show You Around The Deep Web?

They give you a TOR!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPurpleBluBlu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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What do you call a Spanish energy storage device?

A que-pasa-tor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
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"I was up to my knees in snow"

(My dad describing a walk he went on this morning)

Dad : I was up to my knees in snow on Mam Tor

Me: Yeah? Cool

Dad: Yes, it was very cool

Mum: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/budgie93
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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