Cacciatore
Dad, are you sure that new deadbolt was man-door-tory??
Making daddy proud.
You never learned about chicken-catch-a-Tory?
... "you know" says the bartender "we don't get many of your type around here".
Having lunch and milkshakes with the family
Me: Dammit, I think there's a hole in the side of my straw.
Dad: You think that's bad?! Mine's got one at the top and one at the bottom
Groans all round
Unfortunately i think it might be Manda tory
Her name is Tori and it was around her nap time so I asked her: "Are you sleepy?" and she responded, "No, I'm Tori!"
- Allow => A-meow
- Apology => A-paw-logy
- Appalling => A-paw-ling
- Attitude => Cat-titude
- Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
- Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
- Because => Be-claws
- Before => Be-fur
- Bother => Bo-fur
- Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
- Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
- Catch => Cat-ch
- Clever => Claw-ver
- Confusing => Con-fur-sing
- Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
- Different => Dif-fur-rent
- Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
- Familiar => Fur-miliar
- Feeling => Feline
- For => Fur
- For real => Fur real
- Forever => Fur-ever
- Forget => Fur-get
- Fortunate => Fur-tunate
- Forward => Fur-ward
- Friend => Fur-end
- Furious => Fur-ious
- Further => Fur-ther
- Get or Got => Cat
- Help me out => Help meow-t
- History => Hiss-tory
- Hysterical => Hiss-terical
- Inferior => In-fur-ior
- Kidding me => Kitten me
- Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
- Literally => Litter-ally
- Literature => Litter-a-ture
- Lost => Claw-st
- Lying => Lion
- Magnificent => Meow-nificent
- Marvellous => Meow-velous
- Minimum => Mew-nimum
- Misery => Mew-sery
- Moment => Mew-ment
- Mountain => Meow-ntain
- Move => Mew-v
- Music => Mew-sic
- Musician => Meow-sician
- Never => Nev-fur
- New => Mew
- Now => Meow
- Over => Ov-fur
- Paper => Pay-purr
- Pardon me => Paw-don me
- Pause => Paws
- Perfect => Purr-fect
- Perhaps => Purr-haps
- Permission => Purr-mission
- Person => Purr-son
- Personal => Purr-sonal
- Persuasion => Purr-suasion
- Places => Purr-laces
- Please => Paw-lease
- Portable => Paw-table
- Positive => Paw-sitive
- Possibility => Paw-sibility
- Possibly => Paw-sibly
- Precious => Purr-ecious
- Prefer => Paw-fer
- Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
- Pretty => Purr-ty
- Priceless => Purr-iceless
- Prince => Purr-ince
- Princess => Purr-incess
- Puns => Purr-ns
- Purpose => Purr-pose
- Referring => Re-fur-ing
- Respond => Res-paw-nd
- Simple => Sim-paw-le
- Suffer => Suf-fur
- Superior => Su-purr-ior
- Tale => Tail
- Talent => Tail-ent
- Tell => Tail
- That’s all => Cat’s all
- Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
- Very => Furry
- Whenever => Whene-fur
- Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
- You => Mew
- Apologize => A-paw-logize
- First => Furr-st
- How are you? => Meow are mew?
- Morning => Meowrning
- Phon
A woman gets pulled over by a police man. When the police officer comes up to her side door, she asks, "Do you have my ticket to the Police Ball?". The officer is confused and asks, "Excuse me, ma'am?" The woman asks again, "Do you have my ticket to the Police Ball? I'm dying to go" The officer goes, "Ma'am, we don't have any balls."
Ba dum ching
My mom told me about the first time she ever cooked for dad. She cooked chicken cacciatore. She brought in the dish and set it on the table . My dad grabbed the serving spoon, and as he was filling his plate, he asked:
"The real question is did the chicken ever catch the Tory."
Walking around campus today with my girlfriend
'Hey what's that building?'
'The observatory'
'Oh. Who's Tory and why are we observing her?'
In the lava-tory.
At the lava-tory.
