My Wife got a thin crust pizza for dinner. It reminded me a lot of myself:

No dough and lots of cheese.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EoC77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor, at the end of the day....

It’s night

πŸ‘︎ 232
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaughnSD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are just vanishing into thin air.

Police say, they have several leads.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...

Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PocketCornbread
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
People ask me why you so thin

Because i am thinking

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grapos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been trying out some new knitting patterns, but I think my yarn is too thin

Sorry wrong thread

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alecdoconnor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...

It was a good aluminum foil

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Thin soup
πŸ‘︎ 320
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markrakosfalvy
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the Queen (of England) stay so thin?

She keeps all her pounds in the bank.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tall, thin girl with big feet?

Elle

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't like thin pancakes..

They just crepe me out.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to rob a bank but the vault was covered in a thin layer of aluminum

Needless to say, my plans were foiled

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElizaWolf8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm going to show you a magic trick and make two bras out of thin air

Abracadabra

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yogeshbiebz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
*pulls candy bar out of thin air*

Kid: WOW are you a magician?

Me: no, but I have a couple of twix up my sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renskappert
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
You can’t just manufacture a dad joke out of thin air!

I’d at least need my tool box.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingerifical
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone keeps putting very thin sheet metal around my garden...

They keep foiling my plot!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was on trial for producing cents covered in a thin layer of gold...

They found him gilt-y.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine spotted a customer who looked quite thin
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Berkelium_BK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My workmate's patience is running thin
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/messwell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call two thin guys hanging on your wall above a window ...

Kurt and Rod

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend said "My patience is running paper thin right now"

I said thats tearable

πŸ‘︎ 300
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rshambo_29
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I replaced my bowstring with a thin tree limb.

It will break eventually, but it hasn't yet, so I'll nock on wood!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freeaboo_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call white thin bricks

Blank slates....

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Citydoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If soft drinks came long, thin, wooden tubes, it would be fantastick.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkDeathDragon
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I miss my SO a lot. I end up kissing and hugging thin air and she says it makes me look ridiculous. How do I recalibrate my aim? (r/fifthworldproblems) reddit.com/r/fifthworldpr…
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBadger40
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I'd just like to thank my legs for supporting me through thick and thin.

And my arms for being by my side for all these years.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naiphe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s white, thin, and colored on by kids?

Me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogan2929
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a thin skeleton?

Narrow Marrow

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doyoueverjustleft
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My magician friend’s signature trick is to make cute kittens appear out of thin air.

His stage name is The Wizard of Awwws.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know why vegans are so thin?

They have no meat on their bones.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealBobbyC
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I was cutting cabbage real thin when I cut myself...

...It was Murphy’s Law and coleslaw colliding.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I suddenly forgot what a piece of clothing was. I explained it to my son: "It's a long piece of thin fabric, it goes around your neck, usually worn with a shirt?"

He said: It's a tie dad

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Accendil
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the marriage of a thin potato to a vat of hot oil?

A relationCHIP.

GET IT?!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socrathustra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2017
🚨︎ report
A large group of fat economists probably get better results than a small group of thin economists.

Due to the economists of scale.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dockerhate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2016
🚨︎ report
"The walls are so thin..

My Dad said to me a while ago.. "The walls are so thin at my house, I can hear the neighbours changing their minds!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willybroadband
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
🚨︎ report
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted…

"This is a stick up!"

πŸ‘︎ 356
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?

He had a lot of Twix up his sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lancex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2015
🚨︎ report
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?

He had twix up his sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hunteraln
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
🚨︎ report

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