There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me feel numb, and the math ones are just the worst..
they make me feel even number...
I needed a new bookcase, but I don't trust the ones found in stores. So I grabbed some wood, went down to the shop...
... and I made it my shelf.
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid, saying it was the best ones on the market. I said, "what kind is it?"
The pictures I ordered were low-quality. When I called they said it was a problem with their equipment and they'd send new ones right away. I asked if they had to do this a lot.
They said it was a re-sent development.
Only the real ones will get this.
I once littered in a forest and the only ones that saw me were a group of otters in the nearby river. I'll never forget the look they gave me as that plastic bottle left my hands.
It was a look of otter disdain.
My friend had a kid that was born without eyelids. When he was circumcised they used some of the skin to make him new ones.
He’s fine just a little cockeyed.
My kid keeps breaking my keyboard. So i keep spare keys to replace the ones I cannot find.
But today I ran out of control.
Heard two good ones the other day...
I heard two good ones the other day.
Q: What smells like poop and rings like a bell?
A: Dunnng
Q: Have you heard of the new Scandavian religious rock band?
A: No? Well, I heard they're Bjorn Again Christians.
It’s the brass players in the band who are the ones in the group most likely to seize the day.
They grab life by the horns.
What's the difference between People living in Dubai and the ones living in Abu Dhabi
People in Dubai don't like Flintstones, but the ones in Abu Dhabi do
A raven has 17 primary wing feathers—the big ones at the end of the wing, also called pinion feathers. A crow only has 16.
So the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.
Me: "I like to eat the pork and cheese ones best"
Wife - who is Portuguese - "we know you like to eat the pork-n-chuese one" wink
It was totally unexpected. My wife doesn't usually throw puns, play on words, or her culture around like that.
I laughed so hard I had tears.
Antelopes can run really fast, but what do you call the ones that can't?
Cantaloupe. They can only roll.
Why were the chorus kids the only ones at the concert?
It was a rechoirment for them to go and another group was aBANDoned
All the dad jokes I post here are my own. Except the spooky ones.
They're by my ghostwriter.
When you are driving through farm land and see those circle-shaped hay bales in pastures, it’s because they outlawed the rectangular ones.
Apparently the livestock weren’t getting a well rounded diet.
Son: Dad, are we the ones responsible for this fire?
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
For All The Jealous Ones that Envy
The landlord left the balcony door open in the suite next to mine and a bunch of pigeons moved in. I don’t mind much, I wasn’t a fan of the old neighbours but these ones…
Never thought cannibalism is so yummy(Another one of the ones that I want to cross post but r/puns bans cross posts)
The design subreddits didn't care too much for puns, hope you get a chuckle out of this poster I created. The Talon-ted Ones. Coming to a venue near you.
The actual dad jokes are the ones that Don't get popular.....
The popular ones are celebrity dad jokes.
I learned something new about cemeteries; the people in its town aren't the ones being buried there. Do you know why?
It's because they're still alive.
I love telling seasonal jokes. My Summer jokes are always the hottest around, I'm blooming with Spring ones, Winter jokes are always cool, but when comes to Autumn
Send me your puns and i will draw the best ones and post them on r/drawing
It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for
Cows always try to tell us they were the first ones
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:
One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski
I was redoing the fence the other day, pulling all the 4x4s out and putting new ones in...
Sorry, just realized this was a repost.
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
I said to the baker, "How come all your cakes are 50p & that one's £1?"
He said, "That's Madeira cake"
The unintentional ones are always the best
Fat people are always the ones to make change
Because no matter what they always tip the scales
I'm tired of the bye-lingual pun. Why aren't there any try-lingual ones?
Appreciation: I love this sub's jokes, but we all know the real dad jokes are the ones in the comments
I love that the real dad jokes are the dad's trying to make a second joke based on the post haha. None of them are funny, they're all dry as the Sahara Desert, but like all good dad's, they're determined to keep trying.
Keep it up you silly gooses!
How will you call "The hot ones" members when they will die?
There's so many bad puns on this sub' its making me feel numb, and the math ones are just the worst..
..they make me feel even number.
There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..
..they make me feel even number.
There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..
..they make me feel even number.
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
Dad are we the ones who burned down the building?
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