Why did the pair of glasses get a job as a math tutor?

Because they help with division.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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What do you call an arithmetic tutor?

A math dealer.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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My son needed a history tutor, so I handed him some cereal and a scale

β€œTime to learn about Chex and balances”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleIroh_MD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Looking for a Math Tutor?

Call 1-800-[(10x)(ln(13e))]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What do you call a tutor that sleeps with their students?

A prostitutor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisPear12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What did the tutor call the 4th year art student's work?

A masterpiece

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExterminatorRex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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I always tell the students I tutor Dad Jokes. A 1st grader tried to tell one of his own today...

Again....this is from a 1st grader...

Knock knock

Who's there

A panda Bear

A panda bear who?

No, you're supposed to say What Panda Bear...

Ok What panda bear?

Umm......a tiger?

Not a dad joke...but I laughed anyway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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My son’s hot English tutor wanted to teach him how to write an essay... He told her let’s skip the introductions.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I had to fire my Christian guitar tutor. He was too religious. I wanted to learn guitar, but all he kept talking about was

G-sus

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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I was having some trouble farting, so I hired a tutor.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Why do basic white girls make terrible math tutors?

Because they literally can't even.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RegrettableDeed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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Got dadjoked by a kindergartner I tutor. They start so young.

I'm a private French tutor for a family in my area, and one of the kids is a little girl in kindergarten. Their family is big on tea so she was trying to pour her tea herself before the lesson started. But kindergartners spill everything, so I helped her pour it.

"Good teamwork!" - me

"More like tea-work." -her

I've never been more proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatAperture
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2016
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Dadjoked my tutor pretty good

I've been sick for a while and at this time my voice went very croaky.

Him: Are you sure you're okay? Your voice sounds a pretty hoarse.

Me: Neigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/take-a-step-back
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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Tutor dadjoked me today

Him: "A dog and a piecost have a race. Who wins?"

Me: "What's a piecost?"

Him: "About 6 bucks."

Me: GROOOOOAAAAN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edogman9955
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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The legend of the tutor mice

So, let's see that report card. Hmmm. Not so great this term, eh? Maybe you should have bought some tutor mice.

What are tutor mice? You never heard of tutor mice? No wonder. There's this elf, see, and he trains mice to teach kids different subjects. You buy one mouse for math, another for English, and so on. Each mouse you buy is a guaranteed A.

And the best thing is, this elf doesn't have a shop or anything. He comes to you. All you have to do is sing the song.

What do you mean what song. Everybody knows the song. You just have to sing it like you really mean it, and he'll pop up and sell you some mice. Like this:

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, E-E-ELF...β™«

β™«DON'T WANNA 'B'!β™«

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, ELF!β™«

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyDecentSort
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
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Posted by a math tutor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbusedPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2014
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My mom tutors a kid named cole...

Mom: cole rocks Dad: coal isnt a rock, honey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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Dadjoked by my tutor.

Me upon getting out my phone to add a new contact for his number: "How do I create a new person in here?" Tutor: "Well I could tell you, but I think we should save the 'bird and the bees' talk for later."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cavemandark
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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A joke for tutors and professors

My students are allot like pirates

Why?

Because they live out at C.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeBE11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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Dad joked the 7 year old I tutor

Tutoring a 7 year old from Africa and he was doing his math homework. He was supposed to draw squares to cover a rectangle and then write down how many squares it took. I asked him how many it took. He responded with "All of them".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBoone2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2014
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