Surprise pun struck me as I was connecting to someone's WiFi
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︎ Apr 21 2019
I threw my blind wife with a surprise birthday party
She never saw it coming!
Edit: I changed the title and still has a typo -.-`
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︎ May 14 2021
I'm hiding in my Finnish Neighbours shed, waiting to jump out and surprise him.
It's like a sauna in here.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Surprise and Deloitte
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︎ Mar 16 2021
What do you call a surprise clothing launch?
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︎ May 02 2021
Mrs Hamill was annoyed when her son and I paid her a surprise visit.
She was afraid I'd leave a Mark.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
When I moved into my new igloo, my awesome friends threw me a surprise house-warming party...
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︎ Feb 03 2021
I was in the garden last night and to my surprise there was this huge UFO, just hovering....
So, I rushed indoors to get the worst camera I could find, to film it with.....
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︎ Feb 04 2021
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Why canβt you ever surprise Darth Vader at Christmas?
Because he always senses your presents.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I bought my son a car accessory as a surprise but my wife told him what is was before I gave it to him.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
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︎ Oct 09 2020
What do you get with surprise peas?
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Much to my surprise they added a roundabout on my route to work.
It really threw me for a loop.
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︎ Aug 15 2020
Why can't you surprise plastic containers?
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︎ Aug 09 2020
My wife brought home a parakeet yesterday. When she comes home, sheβs in for a surprise because ...
Toucan play at this game.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
How do you surprise a pokΓ©mon?
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Surprise
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︎ Jun 28 2018
Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.
Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.
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︎ Aug 15 2020
To my surprise, my physician was the Mediterranean Sea
I guess Cβs really do get degrees
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︎ Aug 02 2020
Nade is buying meat for your proposal surprise party.
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︎ May 24 2020
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise
No one expects the Spanish ink sedition
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︎ Dec 31 2019
This just happened: I explained to my 11 year-old niece that wheat pennies are/were a thing. She didnβt believe me, so she looked it up on grandmaβs phone. To our surprise, we learned that there are some people selling wheat pennies online for *thousands* to *TENS* *of* *thousands* of dollars.
To which I said, βThat doesnβt make cents.β
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︎ Jun 08 2020
I was searching pinterest for Ghost (band) wallpapers. This was a pleasant surprise.
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︎ Jun 29 2019
I don't know if it's coincidence, but both my kids absolutely love surprise eggs. They're obsessed with them!
And neither of them were planned!
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︎ Mar 23 2020
There was once a scientist doing research on some microscopic organisms. To his surprise he found out that a particular species was completely homosexual.
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︎ Apr 08 2020
I came home from a long day of work to find a surprise my girlfriend left me!
imgur.com/a/9nOTA
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︎ Jun 08 2017
Dankmemes is shit but sometimes it surprises me
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︎ Oct 06 2019
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
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︎ Mar 16 2020
Surprise party
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︎ May 17 2019
When I was 10 my Mom told me to take my brother to a movie so she could set up for his surprise birthday party.
That was when I realized he was her
favorite twin, not me.
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︎ Oct 18 2019
Rumors have it my roommate is going to surprise me with a set of loudspeakers
I don't like the sound of it
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︎ Oct 21 2019
This bar joke caught me by surprise
A weasel walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
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︎ Mar 27 2019
Which of Harry Potters spells never surprises anyone?
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︎ Sep 24 2019
A surprise to be sure
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︎ Jan 07 2019
Surprise party? Oh forβ¦
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︎ Mar 25 2019
Surprise dad joke from my wife
I will preface this by saying I work in IT.
The other day we were watching tv when my son started playing in front of the screen. The first statement I could come up with was βyouβve got to sit down your dadβs not a glassmakerβ
My wifeβs response was βbut he does work with Windowsβ
I am a proud husband.
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︎ Oct 28 2018
A wife finds out she's pregnant and wants to surprise her husband with the news...
"Honey, I'm pregnant!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"That's another way of saying it, I guess, yeah."
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︎ Mar 16 2018
A bee-g surprise (x-post: r/funny)
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︎ Jun 15 2017
Sometimes my genius surprises even me [OC]
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︎ Feb 06 2019
My girlfriend said itβd really be a nice birthday surprise if I got her something to run around in.
So I bought her a tracksuit.
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︎ Oct 06 2019
I got an early flight home so I decided to surprise my wife. Got home about 10 PM. Walked in my bedroom, and to my COMPLETE surprise, there is my wife in bed with my best friend. I couldn't believe it.
I then yelled for my dog to get off the bed.
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︎ Jun 12 2019
Every time I leave work early to surprise my wife, she always greets me with these three special words.
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︎ Aug 13 2018
All Chemistry exam questions contain trace amounts of the element of surprise.
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︎ Feb 11 2019
Itβs my wifeβs birthday tomorrow and sheβs wanted to get a new cat (recently lost our old one), so my son and I got a cat from the animal shelter, put her gently into a large gift bag and brought her home. Before I could shut my driver door my son ran inside and ruined the surprise...
Canβt believe he let the cat out of the bag.
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︎ Mar 17 2019
The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it.
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︎ Nov 05 2018
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
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