What do you call a superpower that lets you locate french pastries with your mind?

Γ‰clairvoyance

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_stevel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I was asked if I could have any superpower in the world what would it be?

I answered Cold war russia

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaku2201
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Now that the USA is no longer the pre-eminent superpower of the world, what's next?

USB

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SFLoridan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What a shitty superpower...
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RhinoVanHorn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I just learned that I've got superpowers yesterday

Today i will make you read

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My superpower, _________, far exceeds your abilities /r/AskOuija/comments/fylm…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I say my secret superpower is detecting Indian flatbread in any given room.

My friends all say it's naan-sense.

πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodybuzzes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
So I was asking my brother how come he only uses his superpowers on my daughters

He said it’s because he only has telekinesis not telekinephews

πŸ‘︎ 311
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainHalfrica
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a superpower...

I can hear at the speed of sound.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samyie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If I could have any superpower, I would choose invisibility. But I wouldn't use it to do anything ILLEGAL...

Just to be clear.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aphaelion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine once told me that the best superpower would be the ability to detect the presence of Indian bread.

I said β€œThat’s naan-sense!”

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What superpower did the celery want?

Cele-kinesis

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePunZoo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked me what superpower I wanted

I guess Russia wasn't the answer

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dr-phil-swift
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The Germans were a superpower during WW II....

The World did Nazi this coming.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The worst superpower
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seahat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report
My 7yo son asked "if you could have superpowers, what would you pick?"

I told him "I'd choose the soup."

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedaveabides98
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
🚨︎ report
My kid dadjoked me: β€œDad, I wish I had a superpower where I could create anything I imagine”

Me: Like Green Lantern?

Son: Sure, I could create Green Lantern.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vanilla_almond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Recent Trip to the Grocery Store

I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied β€œIt’s the Times, New Roman.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FapAlbert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate it when people ask me,”what do you think the future is going to be like?”

I don’t have 2020 vision

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/W4ffleZ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I wish I could photosynthesize occasionally

If only for a light snack

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KillingTime6
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
When you are unhappy with life, look at the bright side.

Maybe your superpower is to expect too much.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Son: "Dad, all I touch turns to shit."

Dad: spits out sandwich

"Is it a goddamn superpower or figurative, and did you make this?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Help making a pun?

So I know this sounds ridiculous but I really need help with a pun.

Imagine a superhero. Punman Obviously the superpower here is to be able to make puns.

What would his sidekick be named? Obviously this is a huge opportunity for a pun, but I got nothing.

Please help. Thank you haha.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/caddlaxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Recent Trip to the Grocery Store

I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied β€œIt’s the Times, New Roman.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FapAlbert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.