I saw a 1000 year old oil stain
It was from ancient Greece
My bedroom now has a stained glass window.
A pigeon just flew right into it.
Stained my shirt by spilling tequila on my stomach.
Something is telling me to ab-stain
If a speck of colour on your clothes is called a stain,
Is paintball a form of Enterstainment?
Why is stained glass popular?
It’s always looking sharp!
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
This case has been a stain on our reputation.
We need to solve it quickly. Send for Det. Urgent
Why does Dolly Parton always spill her coffee?
What's the happiest type of glass?
Does anyone know how to get stains out of cloth diapers?
We've tried everything, but it remains undie turd.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
A man stained his vest and took it to the dry cleaners
While the vest was waiting to be cleaned it had a chat with 2 other vests around it
It said “ My owner stained me and I’m scared it won’t get off
One said “It’s going to be okay no need to worry”
The other one said “ Yeah it happens to the vest of us”
After showing my wife a stain on my shirt, she said I should put some Shout on it.
So I screamed at my shirt.
Parachute for sale:
Used once, never opened, small stain.
My wife got mad at me when I spilled wine on the window
My sister has been reading game of thrones and she really liked the line "the sound of steel on steel"
So she decided to steel it
My boyfriend and I were shopping for stain remover; he wanted Shout.
I said, "Why Shout, when we can Resolve it instead?"
The lady helping me at the bank has a big stain on her shirt.
I shot a man with a paintball gun...
....just to watch him dye.
I'm thinking about buying a new mattress, but I'm not sure.
I think I'll sleep on it.
What do you call a mountain dew stain?
I let the Spaniard know he had a little green stain on the back of his shorts.
He let me know what it was when he replied, "grassy ass".
Archaeologists have discovered an oil stain that might be more than a thousand years old.
What fruit can be used to remove pencil stains from a wall?
A dried grape. Cause it's a raisin.
Somebody spilled their drink on me. When asked about the stain, I said...
Working at sams club i would collect boxes as they would empty. A customer came up to me and said "can i have a few of those flat boxes? I use them when i change my car oil so it doesnt stain my floor."
So I say "of course, that's a great idea. That's really thinking outside the box."
I saw a donkey with a stained glass window affixed to it's rear end...
None of my cleaners got the stain out, so I gave up.
My wife said I lacked Resolve.
What do you call someone who doesn't put stain cleaner in their laundry
What do you call leftover shit stains in the toilet bowl?
No stains!
Son: Dad! I learned an awesome new trick at school in science class. Can I borrow your tie?
Dad: Let's see it.
Son: if we fold your tie in half, and roll the fat end toward the middle, and the thin end toward the middle, we have two rolls - one big and one small, both the same length, right?
Well, if I hold up the tie from the middle, and let go of both sides at the same time, which side will unroll first?
Dad: I have no idea.
Son (drops both ends, which open at the same time):
It's a tie, dad.
Leather stains are very visible
Because it has nothing to hide
(Mom joke, probably) Did you know they're selling women's underwear now that's designed to resist blood stains?
They've been on shelves for quite a while now, you probably just never never noticed.
They're hard to spot.
What do you call the stains on a woman's underwear?
What do you call a stain left in a living room by a Danish person?
My girlfriend wanted to spice things up in the bedroom
I hate when she eats on the bed! Hot sauce stains, Woman!
I had a stain...
I had a stain on my shirt and I pointed it out.
Me: "Oh man I have a stain."
Friend: "Oh! Don't worry just use Shout and it will take it out."
I look down at it and scream very loudly towards it.
Me: "Yeah, that didn't work."
Oh the groans were perfect.
I purchased a wooden headboard. I asked my dad if he had ever stained anything before.
He replied with "yeah, the carpet."
The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.
That explained the stains next to it.
My dad talking about his stained underwear.
Dad: Instead of "Hanes" they're "Stains"!
Me and family: Groans and laughing...
I have a fear of being under something dirty but no one gets my position.
No one ever under stained...
I saw a 2000 year old oil stain.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
It’s called a stain because it’s stay’n.
The lady helping me at the bank has a big stain on her shirt
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