A list of puns related to "Slower"
DeLayโs
Because his friend couldn't ketch up
A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because theyโve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his โpromposalโ special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!
Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that sheโs always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.
The night of the prom, heโs extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesnโt return his feelings? What if she thinks heโs a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.
They get to the prom and heโs even more anxious. Itโs dark, itโs loud, itโs crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks itโs finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying sheโs always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if sheโd like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?
He feels like heโs walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesnโt have to wait too long at the refreshments table.
He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?
There was no punch line.
Heโs a pickup artist.
My boy, Arthur, is slow. He is the slowest child Iโve ever met. And I donโt mean mentally, he just doesnโt move quickly at all no matter what the urgency.
He takes an hour to get out of bed and stand up in the morning. He takes an hour to eat. When we go anywhere we have to tell him 20 minutes in advance because he takes that long to get his shoes on. His showersโฆwe had to install an industrial sized water heater and hook it up to his shower exclusively because he would drain the tank and shower in ice cold water and started getting sick from it.
The worst part is that even if you help him out he doesnโt go faster. We can feed him and heโll just swallow slower. We can wash him and heโll just sit there for longer.
Iโve learned to live with it and be content because I know he wonโt change. But my wife canโt take it. Just the other day she told me she was going to punish him to make him go quicker:
โIโve had it with him! Iโm going to start giving him timeouts and taking away toys for going so slow!โ
โHoney,โ I said, โitโll never work.โ
โWhy not?!โ
โBecause you canโt rush Art.โ
So my dad (known as gramps) has taken my kids for a week for a fun summer vacation. While they were all eating at a restaurant, he texted me a conversation that took place:
Kid: "How do I know when my chocolate milk has expired?"
Gramps: "Look at the cap."
Kid: "Wow, they got this at best by!"
I said, "But the slower ones are easier to catch."
I joked with him about how the boxes are piling up and I need him to cut them up. He lives overseas so he said that if I buy his plane ticket, he'll come and do the work. I told him that my gardener Ebodio will cut the boxes if I ask him to, and much less money. To make my dad feel better, I (half-jokingly) say that Ebodio's technique is not as good and he will be slower, but he'll be a whole lot cheaper.
My dad's response: "I feel like I am being undercut"
She should probably speak slower
While watching The Lion King, Mufasa appears at the beginning scene, and my friend goes Him:"Mufasa" GF: "Why not move slower?"
Groans and eye rolling all around
standing next to a computer ready to clock out
Man 1: does the computer's time clock still say it's a minute slower?
Man 2: it doesn't say anything, you need to read it
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