Made this one back in seventh grade...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KataKataBijaksana
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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"This is the seventh time in three years that you are appearing in front of me," said the judge, "What do you have to say for yourself?" "But your honor," came the reply,

"It's surely not my fault that you haven't been promoted."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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A chef found that the second, third, fifth, seventh, 11th, etc. batches of broth he made would turn into simple organic molecules

Turns out it was prime ordinal soup!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orlen86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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A jazz guitarist couldn’t play a gig at a venue that had only six electrical receptacles.

His equipment required a seventh cord.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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Seven has "even" in it.

That's odd.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimer0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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In the latest news... the Seven Dwarves have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six.

One of them is not Happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 362
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Did you hear about the new sequel to the Sixth Sense?

It's about essential oil people dying from preventable diseases. It's titled "The Seventh Scents"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d1sass3mbled
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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saw this on r/jokes and had to share it

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/friscosoa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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Obamas Thanksgiving dad joke

"It is hard to believe that this is my seventh year of pardoning turkeys,” Obama said. β€œTime flies, even if turkeys don’t".

*this joke was kind of posted with a facebook link, but some of us are leery about facebook links

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaunp138
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2015
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When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 252
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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