I won the lottery and squandered most of it on buying 17th century artwork and musical instruments.

It left me baroque.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
March the 17th, Sleep the 18th
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pmiller61
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...

I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL - That in 17th century there were so many witches in France that they organized, rose up, and overtook the government for a time. I forget how many witches were involved or even what their movement was called....

But I bet it was a "beau-coup."

: )

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
This sign from my cousin's 17th birthday party is punderful.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/southbayadam21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
People in the 17th century were so baroque...

there was constant luting in the streets

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
They only started selling music in the 17th Century.

It was during the BAROQUE era!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Willfreckles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened to America on September 17th 1787?

They gained +1 to their constitution.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBlueBones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I won the lottery and spent all my winnings on 17th century paintings and classical instruments

It left me baroque.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I've just sold my homeing pigeons on EBay for the 17th time!
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothepropellor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I just finished reading the 17th century novel by Miguel de Cervantes about an ass who works lots of extra night shifts...

It was called Donkey O.T.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
🚨︎ report
There was a boy..

His name was Josh Buttlicker. Everyone used to make fun of him. On his 10th birthday his dad asked him what he wanted as a gift.

He said β€œI am so sick of everyone making fun of my name and I really want you to change it officially”.

Dad said β€œNo way! This is our family name, which represents our lineage, and I will never do it.”

He tried asking again on his 11, 12th up to his 17th birthday. But his dad denied his wish every time.

Finally on his 18th birthday, he told his dad β€œYou cannot do anything now. I am of legal age and it is my decision!!” He rushed to the court with a lawyer, and completed all the paperwork to change his name legally.

Then he came home, and his dad asked β€œwell, what is it?”

He said β€œDave Buttlicker”.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Transitionals
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Combined my first 2 joke sets into 1. Enjoy!

I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!

  1. As a ventroliquist, I made one of my dummies sing a song by the GoGos. I'm not going to tell you how I did it. My lips are sealed!
  2. Im the only council member against the construction of the beach. Im going against the grain!
  3. Why did God make me a conjoined twin? Im beside myself!
  4. I put aluminum on a villain's mind control devices. I foiled his plan!
  5. Even though I'm scared of heights, I still go skydiving with this girl I like. Im falling for her!
  6. My shoelace company collapsed. I couldn't make ends meet!
  7. I like using misdirection in my jokes to make people laugh. Or do I?
  8. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll!
  9. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a nerd. I'm honor roll!
  10. The answer to this question, "Who's the president of the United States?" is a no-brainer.
  11. I finished a race the other day. I won 'cause I killed all the Kenyans!
  12. I don't know how to wear a wig. At least not off the top of my head.
  13. I went grocery shopping at Harris Teeter for a 50% off everything sale. I went in for a carrot and came out with a half, which is why I now shop at Whole Foods!
  14. If youre being attacked by zombies, just throw a party! Nobody wants to kill the life of the party!
  15. I used to date a girl, who still uses a nightlight. What a turn-off!
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ADAToTheMoon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Church School

Sally was at Sunday school, when she fell asleep. The teacher realizes this and says, β€œSally who is the creator of life?” Her friend, Colin, who sat behind her. Poked her with a needle to wake her up. She wakes with a jump and yells, β€œGOD ALMIGHTY” The teacher responds, β€œVery good Sally.” Soon later, Sally falls back asleep. The teacher, again notices and says to her, β€œSally who is our savior?” Colin again, pokes her with a needle. Sally jumps up and yells, β€œJESUS CHRIST!” The teacher responds, β€œVery good.” For a third time Sally falls asleep. The teacher, having enough of it, asked, β€œSally, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 17th child?.” Colin again, pokes Sally with a needle to wake her up. She jumps up and yells, β€œI SWEAR TO GOD, if you shove that thing in me one more time, I’m going to rip it from you, and shove up your throat!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NashYaBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
So I asked my dad...

Is the flight on the 17th or on th 18th? He said, its on a plane

That guy said no apologies, so im not sorry

Its my first one

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/highlord1001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I turned 18 yesterday...

In my birthday card my dad wrote, "It seems like only a year ago we celebrated your 17th birthday"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HighClassYungn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2013
🚨︎ report
How to get an A on everything:

Commit adultery in a 17th century puritan town.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tj_xraybanvision
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
🚨︎ report
The best dad jokes are the ones you laugh at more than the audience...

I didn't come up with this but its been flying around reddit for a while...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
🚨︎ report
My Graduation is on the 16th...

You know what's special about the 16th? It is a day before the 17th

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slick512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.