My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 70
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2021
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My friend told me he's going to try to get a large group of wolves to separate from each other.

There's a lot to unpack there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TurtleofAwesomeness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2021
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Finally learnt how to separate my washing into lights and darks...

Turns out there can be a bit of a grey area

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fat_mummy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2021
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Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.

It's syncing right now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iseb3881
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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Asked my kids this morning to bring their laundry and separate it into whites and colors. My son holds up some grey sweats and asks which pile.

My response: Not sure son, that’s kind of a grey area.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheGogglesDo-Nothing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
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Why are female prisoners kept in separate prisons?

Because most prisoners are in cells.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Masked_Death
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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What separates men from boys?

from

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the-other-alt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2020
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How do you separate eggs?

You put each egg in a different place.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SittingInFear
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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Lit on two separate levels
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/greengo122
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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What separates a canine family tree from other species?

The bark.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dcapz87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2020
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A man takes his wife to an unusual restaurant where you must stand in separate lines for each food item ...

As they sit down, the husband offers to go get their dinner. First he waits in line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for the potatoes. He he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, the salad line, and even the gravy line.

He finally returns to the table with two heaping plates of food. β€œWhat would you like to drink?” he asks.

β€œA glass of punch would be nice,” she says. So off he goes to get it. He finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, a line for milk, even a line for water. After considering all of his options he gives up and returns to the table empty-handed.

Sometimes there is no punch line.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Curmudgeon1836
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2019
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Can someone help me out with a name pun with the name Nina and Olivia? (Separate) thanks.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ASDFGHJKL_101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2019
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What separates the Uninformed from the Uniformed

A single letter β€œn”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kor3nse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2019
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this dude at my school had two separate hit lists. we all knew who was on the white one, but the blacklist? no clue.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/erdankely
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2019
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What's the line that separates a regular joke from a dad joke?

The punch line.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 284
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/janus10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2017
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what separates ireland and iceland?

nothing but a c

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dnkXmmsXbrknXdrms
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2019
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Do you know what separates a dad joke from a bad joke?

I cannot tell you. You'll just have to C for yourself.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TreatasaurusRex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2019
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"Is it weird if I really like the mountains that separate Europe from Asia?"

Nope, Ural good

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dayman__aAa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2019
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Listen kids, your mum and I have decided to go separate ways

We need to know which way is shortest to school.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rawSingularity
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2019
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My girlfriend asked me what I do for a living. I said I separate fact from fiction.

I work in a library.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2019
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A husband was doing laundry and forgot to separate his wife's white dress from his new red shirt.

He got in a load of trouble.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zanman28
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2018
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If cosine is the denominator and sine is the numerator, what separates them?

The tanline

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Howardyoudoing95
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2019
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The doctor told me to separate the fats from carbohydrates for dinner.

So I told my wife I’d be eating in the living room from now on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/b8410
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2019
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Waiter: "Are there separate checks or together?"

Dad: "No checks please."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Real_Goose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What separates humans from dolphins?

The surface of the water.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Platonic_Moistness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
How does Rick Astley separate himself from an investigation?

He tells the investigators that he will Rick-use himself from the investigation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WalkingDown46
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2017
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My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So, I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
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My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.

So, I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 134
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So, I have an uncle once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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