I went to the diabetes screening

It's just a movie about sugar

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Mandatory temperature screening will be required for fans attending the Foreigner reunion concert.

If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I had my temperature read today for a Covid screening, and it read 200 degrees

That’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moneybuystruth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The methadone clinic has cancelled urinalysis screenings for the rest of April

Unlike the grocery store, the clinic isn't adopting the "curbside pee-cup" system.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saltoftree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did they say to Trump during the screening of Star Wars?

The Senate will decide your fate.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Colon Cancer Screening
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanJT324
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
They're screening a new Flinstones movie in the United Arab Emirates.

The people in Dubai don't like it much, but the people in Abu Dhabi do!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrQuickLine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2013
🚨︎ report
tap on the screen
πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Jude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard about this one guy who could only see through screens

He had television.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it's difficult to read what is on my Samsung phone's screen from 20 feet?

Because it's on a Galaxy far, far away.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/212lefty9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Tap on the screen

🚰

πŸ‘︎ 524
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dizzie222
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I filmed and screened an entire documentary series on terrorism.

But it bombed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Switched my laptop screen to 4k just now...

It's my New Year's resolution.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Scribbler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
took a screen shot on youtube when I found this pun
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rose-Fairy-Fun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my boss, β€œSorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Baby Yoda say the first time he watched The Mandalorian on a high-def screen?

Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Errors are red, screen is blue, i think i deleted, system 32.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hallower87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
We had a critical issue at work today, the icons on the monitor screen were small

It took us a while to work out a proper resolution

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faisalz8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a computer get drunk?

It takes screen shots.

πŸ‘︎ 466
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss was surprised that pc screens were delivered before headsets...

Me : "it's because light travels faster than sound"

I'm only 20 please help

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heey_its_Ben
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife screens patients for breast cancer

What a great boob job.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My 7 year old son is remote learning and I walked into the room to find him logged into his class with his back facing the computer screen. I asked, β€œwhat are you doing?”

He said, β€œI’m back to school!”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I like this
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
There were a group of elderly people say with their phones.

They repeatedly tapped their screens... Read more

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Tap on the screen.
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Something's wrong with my touch screen.

I can’t put my finger on it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Tap on the screen...

Tap on the screen...

I hope this is allowed here...πŸ˜‰

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majikthise042
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.

The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did my computer screen freeze

Cause it didn’t have a thick enough coat

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
There are some phenomenal deals out there right now

I just got an 84-inch screen TV for my family. Not gonna lie, it was a pretty good trade.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mirhamarha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A true screen shot
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you get drunk using your cell phone?

Take a lot of screen shots!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrankEOG
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Mods are asleep, upvote perfectly cut screen
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maggi_mix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I watched 3 movies back to back last night.

Luckily I was the one facing the screen.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deedubya8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Is the leader of the Screen Actors Guild

the acting president?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rover359
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Double tap on your screen.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerGav09
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
🚨︎ report
The error message on fat bastards screen when his computer crashed

Chin-tax error

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jskell89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend posted a pic of her at the Hollywood Bowl and the big screens read β€œFree Wi-Fi”
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squirrelboii
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got off the phone with a professor in China. He says it's not worth getting Covid-19

As they are expecting to release Covid-20 Pro in September.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PIGG-E
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter has to screen the light from windows and doors in order to get ideas...

She shudders to think...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Tap on this picture.
πŸ‘︎ 223
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pikachuboiiiii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said she was staring at her computer screen and couldn’t think of what to write.

I told her she must of been literary exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ptolemy222
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Say what you want about the iPhone X but

You can't deny it had a top notch screen.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burpmeister
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What did one video call tell to another on the beach?

Can you share the screen

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/summingitup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I built a screen porch and it was much easier since I didn’t install windows.

It was paneless.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the phone screen say to the dad joke?

Looks like the joke’s on me

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aphotdog95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper?

So you feel write at home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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