My local farmers market. Savage.
πŸ‘︎ 325
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πŸ‘€︎ u/666cookie666
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My local farmers market actually has an entire album of these. They’re savage.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/666cookie666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Meat Loaf has made great music. Meat Loaf has had iconic film roles. Meat Loaf will see his 75th Birthday

Whoops. Now don’t be sad, β€˜cause two out of three ain’t bad.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baltisotan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
WWE is posthumously making Randy "Macho Man" Savage the head of the company!

He's going to be the new CE-Oh, yeahhhhh!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaserGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Nacho man Randy Savage
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evansonly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A play-by-play of my dad's savage

My brothers and I went to see dad at work

Dad: *Sees us from a distance* Did you bring me a snack?

Me, an idiot: I'm right here lol.

Dad: I wanted something healthy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
This pun pic is savage... (pic from Pinterest)
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rosalina888
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Did you hear the actress from legally blonde stabbed her husband with a knife?

Friend: Do you mean Reese Witherspoon?

Me: No, with her knife!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matwantstoknow11
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What would genderbent 21 Savage wear?

A skrrt.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TastyBoye
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does 21 Savage park his car?

A Lot

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasquatchent
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t even know
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DennyDud
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I do hope she added enough stamps
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skatardrummer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was savagely attacked at The Teddy Bear's Picnic...

His condition is said to be improving, but he's not out of the woods yet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Someone once compared me to the UK TV presenter, Paul O'Grady

I said, , "That's Savage."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergioarmagh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Adam Savage drops a dad joke during a science discussion, many groans to be had...

https://youtu.be/W056yaT-OUo?t=37m57s

enjoy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatNVguy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Shout out to anyone who doesn't know what the opposite of in is
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humeon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Production costs are really high in the dairy business

A lot of expenses are in curd.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KILLA2-0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My son just kicked the bucket.

It only went 4 feet.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSS_is_the_best
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Not sure if this belongs here
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wisdomsharerv2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the scientist say when his fridge got down to -459 F?

That’s 0K.

πŸ‘︎ 428
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Desperate_Shark
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Wife: I have a couple of important announcements to make..

Wife: First: I’m pregnant.

Husband: Hi pregnant,I’m dad.

Wife: second: no you’re not.

πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Chapo0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The Corona virus probably won't last that long

Because it was made in China

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurrikayne53
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandad got a police officer pretty good.

He accidently went down a one way road the wrong way as it was recently changed and he didn't realise. A cop saw him and pulled him over.

The cop came up to him, and said, "You do know this is a one way road?"

My grandad responded with, "I know, I'm only going one way!"

They both had a good laugh about it, ticket still issued. :(

πŸ‘︎ 439
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rollers-Royce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
🚨︎ report
If the parachute doesn't open, bring it back and we will replace it.

Heard from an old Jump Instructor while handing out parachutes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l4fngm4n
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife suddenly looked at me and asked, β€œHow would you describe me, honey?” I said, β€œThat's easy, ABCDEFGHIJK.”

Frowning, she questioned, β€œWhat the heck does that even mean!?”

I continued, β€œAdorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot!”

Blushing, she chuckled, β€œAw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

I sang out, β€œI’m just kidding!”

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘ŒTHIS CLOSE
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaylorSlayer31
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I used to know a cat burglar named Carl.

Carl had this calling card of his. When he was nearly done burgling a house, he would put a brick inside the victim's washing machine, and switch it on. The washing machine would destroy itself, and the owners would know that the perpetrator could only be Carl.

Carl's number eventually came up, when he burgled a house with three savage guard dogs. They put an end to his burglary career.

I guess you could say, washing machines live longer with Carl gone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
You know who wasn't a good dad?

Your mom.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stfuasshat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'
πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breecat8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm considering getting my steak bloody....

...it's a rare treat.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chowdowntime
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2017
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToothMan22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that she hated the kid from β€œThe Wonder Years” when she was growing up.

I said, β€œThat’s a little Savage.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad Joke

Have you ever heard of the female rapper who only rapped on her period?

I heard she had a mean flow

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrandmaBuster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad's "joke of the week"

I little boy asks his grandfather, β€œGrandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?” Gramps says, β€œI think so, why are you asking”. The little boy says, β€œMy mom said when you croak, we can go to Disneyland”.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/411inthe412
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Kid in class realizes caught in a dad joke for years.

I am currently in a intercultural communication class in college. Because its the beginning of the semester we always have to do some goofy activity and because the class is about culture everyone would tell something interesting about theirs. So this little Asian kid in class starts talking about customs growing up. He says how when he was little he remembers his father farting, and his dad asking why he is not clapping "in this culture you clap after your father farts." The whole time hes telling this I am thinking...no way...this dad is a savage. I kind of got a feeling he was starting to pick up on it, he started talking slow and thinking about it. Long story short: he clapped after his dad farted presumably for years, practicing their culture. What do you think?

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redguypubes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Wrestling Relatives

Today at lunch I dad-joked my wife.

wife: There was this guy who would come into my work, James Savage-
me: Oh, was he related to Randy?
wife: blank stare
me: ...Macho Man Savage?
wife: flared nostrils/large sigh/continues her story

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/martinzer0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
🚨︎ report

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