Nacho man Randy Savage
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evansonly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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A play-by-play of my dad's savage

My brothers and I went to see dad at work

Dad: *Sees us from a distance* Did you bring me a snack?

Me, an idiot: I'm right here lol.

Dad: I wanted something healthy.

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πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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This pun pic is savage... (pic from Pinterest)
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rosalina888
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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What would genderbent 21 Savage wear?

A skrrt.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TastyBoye
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Donation I gave (a savage)

Today a guy came to my house asking for donation for the new swimming pool that's gonna come next door..

I gave a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaggersouls_2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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Adam Savage drops a dad joke during a science discussion, many groans to be had...

https://youtu.be/W056yaT-OUo?t=37m57s

enjoy!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatNVguy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
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I would like to be a millionaire just like my dad...

He always wanted to be a millionaire too.

πŸ‘︎ 234
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Production costs are really high in the dairy business

A lot of expenses are in curd.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KILLA2-0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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My son just kicked the bucket.

It only went 4 feet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSS_is_the_best
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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I do hope she added enough stamps
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skatardrummer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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What was the president’s reaction to JFK’s assassination?

His mind was blown

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Not sure if this belongs here
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wisdomsharerv2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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A man was savagely attacked at The Teddy Bear's Picnic...

His condition is said to be improving, but he's not out of the woods yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
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The Corona virus probably won't last that long

Because it was made in China

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurrikayne53
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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What did the scientist say when his fridge got down to -459 F?

That’s 0K.

πŸ‘︎ 431
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Desperate_Shark
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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Shout out to anyone who doesn't know what the opposite of in is
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humeon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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If the parachute doesn't open, bring it back and we will replace it.

Heard from an old Jump Instructor while handing out parachutes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l4fngm4n
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Wife: I have a couple of important announcements to make..

Wife: First: I’m pregnant.

Husband: Hi pregnant,I’m dad.

Wife: second: no you’re not.

πŸ‘︎ 180
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Chapo0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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I used to know a cat burglar named Carl.

Carl had this calling card of his. When he was nearly done burgling a house, he would put a brick inside the victim's washing machine, and switch it on. The washing machine would destroy itself, and the owners would know that the perpetrator could only be Carl.

Carl's number eventually came up, when he burgled a house with three savage guard dogs. They put an end to his burglary career.

I guess you could say, washing machines live longer with Carl gone.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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My wife suddenly looked at me and asked, β€œHow would you describe me, honey?” I said, β€œThat's easy, ABCDEFGHIJK.”

Frowning, she questioned, β€œWhat the heck does that even mean!?”

I continued, β€œAdorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot!”

Blushing, she chuckled, β€œAw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

I sang out, β€œI’m just kidding!”

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandad got a police officer pretty good.

He accidently went down a one way road the wrong way as it was recently changed and he didn't realise. A cop saw him and pulled him over.

The cop came up to him, and said, "You do know this is a one way road?"

My grandad responded with, "I know, I'm only going one way!"

They both had a good laugh about it, ticket still issued. :(

πŸ‘︎ 435
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rollers-Royce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
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You know who wasn't a good dad?

Your mom.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stfuasshat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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I'm considering getting my steak bloody....

...it's a rare treat.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chowdowntime
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2017
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I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breecat8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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πŸ‘ŒTHIS CLOSE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaylorSlayer31
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2017
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My wife told me that she hated the kid from β€œThe Wonder Years” when she was growing up.

I said, β€œThat’s a little Savage.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToothMan22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2017
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Dad Joke

Have you ever heard of the female rapper who only rapped on her period?

I heard she had a mean flow

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrandmaBuster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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Dad's "joke of the week"

I little boy asks his grandfather, β€œGrandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?” Gramps says, β€œI think so, why are you asking”. The little boy says, β€œMy mom said when you croak, we can go to Disneyland”.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/411inthe412
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2016
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Kid in class realizes caught in a dad joke for years.

I am currently in a intercultural communication class in college. Because its the beginning of the semester we always have to do some goofy activity and because the class is about culture everyone would tell something interesting about theirs. So this little Asian kid in class starts talking about customs growing up. He says how when he was little he remembers his father farting, and his dad asking why he is not clapping "in this culture you clap after your father farts." The whole time hes telling this I am thinking...no way...this dad is a savage. I kind of got a feeling he was starting to pick up on it, he started talking slow and thinking about it. Long story short: he clapped after his dad farted presumably for years, practicing their culture. What do you think?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redguypubes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
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Wrestling Relatives

Today at lunch I dad-joked my wife.

wife: There was this guy who would come into my work, James Savage-
me: Oh, was he related to Randy?
wife: blank stare
me: ...Macho Man Savage?
wife: flared nostrils/large sigh/continues her story

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/martinzer0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
🚨︎ report

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