Doc told me he has good news and bad news for me. Bad news is my organs are shutting down from my eating only pepperoni, ham & salami.

Good news is, I’m cured!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about Dr. Salami?

He cured dry meats.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tytypec
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't salamis ever get sick?

Because they've already been cured!

(Thought of this as I made me a sandwich)

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aik2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was eating some cheese and salami on crackers. She accidentally cut off a very large piece of the Salami. I told her it was a muenster. She just stared at me flatly so I apologized.

I told her I was sorry for such a cheesy joke.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyranous13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The meat put into salami is cured.

All the other meats are terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Could you pass me the salami?

..no, but I can pass you the salayou...

My stepdad at basically every breakfast for 10 years..

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callemanz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend’s dissertation was on nerds who love palindromes.

He is now Dr.Awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I met a girl on tinder whose bio said she used to work at a meat packing plant and that she'd heard all the jokes before...

So I asked her out on a date for the weekend but to let me know by Friday if she had to can salami.

(Cancel on me)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone thinks I’m weird because I’m addicted to ham and pineapple sandwiches.

But that’s just Hawaii roll.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I just tried Elvis Costello's new Mediterranean sausages and they were great.

I think Olive salami is here to stay

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I burnt my pepperoni pizza today.

I could blame the oven but ultimately it’s salami.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stefanopolis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you greet at Muslim cured meats butcher ?

a-salami-maker

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Got dad-joked by my boss yesterday.

I was slicing some Genoa salami at work and I asked my boss if genoa was pork-based. Without skipping a beat he replied, "Yes it is, didn't genoa that?" We both had a hearty chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
🚨︎ report
How did the Arabic guy greet a Caribbean guy holding lunch meet?

"Ah, salami Jamaican!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingOfCharles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
🚨︎ report
As an assistant to a musician, I brought them their favorite food.

Salami

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zemtor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.