Rum and Coke Puns

"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"

A bear walks Into a bar, summons the bartender and says, 'I'll have a rum and ... ... ... Coke'. Bartender says,'why the long pause?' Bear replies, 'These?! (Looking at his paws), I've had these since birth!'

I'm here all week...

So a blonde walks into a library, and walks up to the librarian and asks, "Can I have a rum and coke please?".

The librarian responded saying "Ma'am this is a library!"

The blonde responded "oh I'm sorry..." And in a whisper asked "Can I have a rum and coke please".

I said to my 13 year old. He's at that age when he is starting to think he knows everything because he knows why salt makes ice melt.

He knows I'm a teetotaler.

"What do you know about making drinks?" he says sneeringly.

"I know how to make some drinks."

"Like what?"

"I know how to make rum and coke. I know how to make gin and tonic. I know how to make Shirley Temples."

There is a snort there.

"I know how to make vodka cranberries. I know how to make margaritas. I know how to make red wine."

He finishes the fries he is eating at the counter island in the kitchen and starts to head out of the room.

"Do you know how to make a red wine?" I call after him.

He turns around and looks at me, still chewing.

"How"

"Tell them about 1991."

"What?"

"That is when the Soviet Union fell, all the reds were whining."

True story.

He orders a large coke......... and a rum. The Bartender says, “hey, why the big pause”. The bear says “I don’t know, I was born with them”

And says "Can I have a rum... ... ...and a coke?" The bartender replies "Why the big paws?"